A Love Story Or Not

#66

It had been 2 weeks now and Shehnaaz was all good to go. She knew that she couldn't go back because except his sisters, nobody else knew about everything that went through them.

She just didn't want to face him, and she didn't want to go back to her place.

She knew what she had to do. She needs to take a break from everything, but the thing was that nobody would let her go, not when she has just gotten up from the hospital bed.

But she knew that if she talked to Neetu di, she would understand. She was sure.

She called her, "Hi di! Aap aaj aa re ho merse milne? Aap please mere liye kuch kapde pack karke le aao. Aapko meri kasam, abhi kuch mat pucho. Aap bass ek baari aa jao, I will explain".

Neetu di had to comply and she reached the hospital as soon as possible.

"Shehnaaz out with it! What's going on?", she asked, worried about her.

"Di, I have recovered. Aur ab mujhe discharge mil jaega. I just can't come back home right now", she said with a blank face.

"Bachcha, tu Sidharth se naraaz hai na! Humse to nhi hai na. To fir ghar aaja", di said, patting her head and caressing it lovingly.

Shehnaaz gave her a weak smile and kept her head on her lap, "Di, i am very tired. I am exhausted. Its like I am drained emotionally and physically. I need a break from all this. Yahan reh ke mujhe ye break nhi milegi.

I just want to give myself some time. I need some me time.

I feel like it has been a long time since I am just running. Mein bohot der se Bhaag ri hun,and now I want to catch my breath. Ab chahti hun ki thodi der ruk kar Saans le lun.

I have been doing things, exhausting myself for like so many years. Now, I want to stop. I want to pause and give myself the much needed relaxation.

Aap ye mat sochna ki mein kisi bhi cheez se Bhaag ri hun. That's not me!

I don't run away from problems. I don't turn my back when things get complicated.

I don't close me eyes when challenges are thrown my way.

I just feel like taking a break from my problems and there seem to be many of them lately.

Once I am refreshed, I will come back and resume. I will continue from where I stopped but for now I am keeping them on hold.

I want to lay down, without getting worried about getting up tomorrow...

Mein Sidharth se bhi nhi Bhaag ri. Sidharth exists in me, aur Apne aap se koi kaise Bhaag sakta hai?

I am not angry at him, i am hurt. I am hurt beyond words. Uski aakhen jab mujhe uss trha dekh ri thi na, tab lga ki mere saare sapne tut gye.

Shayad kisi aur ko ye choti baat lage but that trust, that he didn't show in me that day, took away every ounce or effort and energy that I was willing to put in our relationship.

Sidharth se bohot pyaar karti hun na, isiliye ye soch ke bhi kaamp jati hun ki kahin kisi din wo mujhpe bharosa karna band karde. Tab uss din jab wo kuch nhi bola, to mere pairon taley zameen khisak gyi.

I love him and will always, always, always do. He is a big part of me, my existence depends on him, isiliye aisa ek bhi din nhi hoga jis din Shehnaaz, Sidharth se pyaar nhi karti hogi...

Jiss din aisa hua, uss din saasen rukk jayengi meri.

Abhi thodi si pareshaan hun, isiliye thode din akela rehna chahti hun. Aap tension mat Lena bikul bhi, mein apna Pura dhyan rakhungi.