Band imagines

Too much like me- ryan sitkowski

I laid in bed staring at the screen of my phone, I watched my dad's twitch stream until it ended. I knew he was going to be mad at me for not being ready for school but I couldn't help it. I can't find the motivation to get up, I didn't want to leave the house.

What if something bad happens?

"Morning sweetheart, why aren't you up for school again?" This was a common occurrence, some days were better than other but today was a bad day for me. I didn't want to leave my bed, I felt like I was going to throw up even though I hadn't really eaten anything.

"You're not gonna speak to me today?" Dad asks sitting on the end of my bed, I stayed silent and dropped my phone face down so he knew I was listening to him.

"It's one of those days, huh? Have you spoke to your mother this morning?" I shake my head slightly but enough for him to notice.

"Ryan! They're gonna be late!" I hear mum yell from downstairs, "Talitha can you come up here for a moment?" He yelled before turning back to me. "do you think you can do it today?" I sigh feeling tears rush to my eyes as my mum walks in.

"Not a good day hey sweetheart?" She sits next to me and pulls me into her arms, "come on you gotta get up love, you got to fight this." I let the tears fall down my cheeks whine I tried my hardest not to cry.

"I don't want to go out today, not today please.." I begged hugging my mum tightly. She was in her work gear so I knew she would have to leave soon.

"Come on you gotta get up, school is important."

"Mental health is way more important, the school claim to preach mental health and say they help but they don't! They make it worse!" I cry out, now sobbing into my mum who I knew usually leaves around this time.

"Ry.." she mumbles, I feel myself being lifted and I'm laid in my dads lap instead, a gentle kiss is pressed to my forehead. "I love you, I'll bring you back treats later. Give it a go for me baby." I sniffled listening to her talk, she kisses dad before leaving.

"Give it a go for me" i shook my head. "Not today.." he runs his fingers through my hair calming me down.

"I know not going seems like the easiest option but it isn't, it limits your chances for the future. We just want what's best for you." How many times have I heard that line before?

I stood up and grabbed one of the plenty of empty bottles around my room, I walked downstairs and filled it up at the tap. "You dropped out why can't I?! I can't keep waking up and doing the same shit everyday!" I yelled, a new set of tears running down my face.

"Look at how I turned out!"

"Perfectly fine! You have a family, a good job, money, a house!" Flying my arms around in the air to get my point across, me and my dad argued a lot but it never made me love him any less. He's still my dad.

"You don't want to turn out like me, I don't want you to turn out like me, y/n. I ruined my childhood, I smoked pot, I drank alcohol, I even slept in a van and couch surfed for years." He explains lowering his voice.

"What if that's what I want too?" I sighed.

"You want to be in a band?" I nodded slowly wiping my eyes and stinging cheeks free of tears. "Me and some friends are starting a band, on Fridays we go to Billy's and we get drunk. We smoke pot and cigarettes. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I knew you wound be mad if you found out. I'd rather me telling you than you hearing from someone else." I admit.

"Y/n.. you're too much like me, kid."

"Please don't be disappointed in me. I spoke to my therapist and she wants me to go on medication but Rick said not too. He said it messes with your head." I sit on the counter hugging my knees to my chest while dad took a seat at the dining table.

"I don't want to see you go on medication because people don't come off of it, I want to help you before we try it. If that's what we get to then that's what happens but I think it's best we hold it off for a little while." I nodded respecting his decision, no matter what he would have a say in what I did since he's my guardian and would have to sign stuff.

"Have you thought of a band name?" I shrugged immediately going over the few I had thought of.

"Eternally yours, the infamous, there was one more I don't remember it though." I watched a grin grow on his face. "Eternally yours?"

"Yeah like the song, I think it would be a good band name. There's a few I liked as band names and since you're my dad and the band are family, it would honour you in some way." I smiled explaining my thoughts to him.

"What would you do? Guitar?" I shook my head.

"Harry said I would sing, I can't sing though." He immediately freaks out throwing his arms up in the air. "Lies! I hear you sing all the time! What genre?"

"Metal of course, maybe more alternative rock that would be cool."

"Chris could teach you to scream if that's what you want?" I jumped off the counter. "Go shower alright, you're coming to the studio with me. It would be good for you get out the house today, don't forget tomorrow you have a meeting here with the therapist so don't worry about school." I nodded walking upstairs, I took the last bit of motivation and quickly showered, I didn't do my hair I just threw on one of Ricky's beanies I stole.

I threw on dirty clothes from my floor and walked downstairs again, "let's go we're gonna be late." I nodded and went to follow him out the door, he left the door open for me but I couldn't bring myself to step out onto the porch.

"It's only the studio.. you can do it y/n. It's just the band." He says softly but I shake my head feeling my chest get heavy.

"Not today... go without me I'll make dinner I'll see you later!" I close the door before he can respond.

I'm so stupid. It's just a simple task of leaving the house, why can't I do it like everyone else?