Band imagines

Fitting in is deadly- Calum Hood

Tw// d*sordered e@ting

Starting at a new school is terrifying in itself but I think what's worse is trying so desperately to fit in with the wrong people.

Trying to fit in with the populars was beginning to take a toll on my mental health and health in general and it was slowly becoming more obvious. I felt like I was simply a joke to them, "y/n this isn't you! Look at you!" Calum raised his voice as I collected my things for school, I was simply trying to block him and his complaining out at this point.

"Cal I'm fine, seriously. Stop worrying about me, I'm really happy. Why can't you be happy for me?"

I wasn't happy at all; I felt like a dead person walking. We soon left for school before we were late and the entire way there Calum was telling me how bad my friends were. "Are they trying to kill you?! I told you you can hang out with my friends, they're worried about you too, y/n." I sighed loudly as we stopped outside the school gates.

This was a daily occurrence, we would go out separate ways at the school gates and barely acted like we knew each other when in reality Calum is my best friend and at this point it feels like he's all I got.

"Please y/n." He begged but I cut him off, rolling my eyes becoming annoyed with him. "Calum, how many times do I have to tell you I'm fine! Please stop worrying and tell your friends to stop worrying too." Before he could respond I was walking into school looking for the my friends.

"Oh hey y/n! We didn't think you were gonna show up today, were you okay yesterday?" Madison question in her usual high pitched voice, "oh yeah, I just felt a little sick yesterday that's all." I slapped on a smile.

"You're looking a little fat, y/n. Did you do the trick?" I nodded slowly, "yeah of course I did." My mind wondering back to last night; kneeling over the toilet with me fingering fingers down my throat. I hadn't eaten so there was nothing to throw up, it was just to be on the safe side.

Looking in the mirror, staring at the person I saw in the reflection.

Every time they would try their best to prevent their words from infecting them, but they failed.

They don't eat, they don't sleep, only wearing hoodies two sizes too big and sweats to hide the truth happening underneath. The words the populars spoke were like venom; it changed them.

For then to not look fat and to be skinny like the perfect blondes, they'll never be enough for the populars or even themselves.

She and the other two girls scoffed showing their disgust, "it's not working is it? You have to be skinny to fit in y/n! Maybe you should skip some meals just to make sure it works." I nod slowly keeping my eyes trained on my shoes.

I already was skipping meals.

It felt like the day went by too fast, I got through my classes and I made it through lunch. I stood at my locker grabbing my book for my next class which I was late for but I had to use the bathroom before hand.

"You didn't eat anything today.." I spin around the face the voice of my best friend. "What do you mean, cal?" I say acting like I had no clue what he was talking about.

"I saw you at lunch only drinking water.."

"I just wasn't hungry, me and my mom had a take out last night and I ate a lot." I stuffed over my words hoping he wouldn't be able to see through my blatant lies.

"Y/n! Stop lying to me! Why aren't you eating? You don't think I don't hear you in the bathroom throwing up? You're not eating anything to throw up! You're going to kill yourself!" I scoff in response, "oh so now you're stalking me?"

"Just answer my fucking question! Stop dodging it every time!" He speaks with anger lacing his voice and slams my locker closed, I jumped a little in response and my eyes dropped to look down at my shoes to avoid any eye contact at all costs.

"Why do you care, cal?" Sudden tear appeared burning at my eyes, they begged to fall but I bit them back. Letting them fall would only show that I'm weak and pathetic.

He grabs my chin and lifts my head to make me look at him but I continue to look at the lockers in the hall behind him. "Look at me and tell me the truth.. are they doing this to you?" My eyes snap to catch his gaze. His soft brown eyes bore into mine like he was searching for answers.

The tears begin to roll down my cheeks, his arm snakes around my waist and he pulls me into his chest. I fell into his hold and sobbed into his shoulder, "I can't eat anything anymore! I feel sick and cold all the time! I'm so scared Calum!" Admitting all of this to him only made me hate myself even more.

"God y/n.. I can't believe I let it get this bad.." He whispers, "cal!" I jump out of his arms and wipe my eyes with my sleeve, I saw Luke, Michael and Ashton stood in their gym clothes.

"Y/n.." Ashton sighs as the three of them rush towards me and pull me into a group hug. "I feel so weak.."

"it's okay y/n, we'll help you and get the help you need." Michael tells me, that only made me feel anxious. I had to face the fact I had a problem.

"Boys? What is going on here?" Coach Claire's voice pulled the group hug apart, she walks over to us with a worried look on her face. At this point it was impossible to hide my tears.

"Why don't we take this to my office?" Her smile was soft and warm. I felt like I could trust her after just seeing that comforting smile.

We walked through the halls to her office and that's where the boys spilt everything and all I could do was sit there and cry pathetically. I focused on Calum's hand which was interlocked with mine, I felt like the tun of bricks I walked around with over my head had come crashing down but I felt relieved to have someone understand me.

"Don't worry, Y/n. We'll get this sorted." I felt like that was all I needed to hear to feel.. okay..