Band imagines

She can't- remington leith

Tw// eating disorder

Y/n's POV

"I love you y/n."

"Love you more, forever.."

"And always."

He was my best friend.

I tell my journal every night;

We spent the whole night together.
Just talking on the phone.
His voice is so sweet to hear, like music to my ears, it never fails to make me feel warm and comforted.
What he doesn't realise is that I'd stay up every night of my life to talk to him.
While we walk like some cheesy couple.

I want to kiss him in the rain,
I want the dance under the stars with him,
I want everything.
I want to be selfish for once.
I want him.

But I can't have that.

You've told me you want me too,
You've told me plenty of times.
It pains you to turn me away but we have no choice.
It pains me to understand.

So, I'll simply dream of a world where we're together, since this world will never see it.

I close the journal staring at the writing on the front, the words you'll never get to hear.

"Who were you on the phone with? It better not be that boy again. He's bad for you y/n." I sigh shoving the book under my pillow, hiding it away.

"I know.." I had argued with her multiple times about him, he's everything I want in life. I want him so badly.

"Don't make me take your phone again, have you eaten today?" My stomach craved some decent food, just anything at all.

"No.." I said quietly biting my tongue, "good or that diet you're on won't work." I nodded slowly, "your father is making your salad now. Eat it in the morning and no snack between while we're on this trip. Take your pills too, I'll be checking in with you everyday." He tells me with her wide smile as she packs away my clean clothes for me.

"I know mom, have fun on your trip." I smiled, it felt as if I was always smiling through the pain I felt.

"Make sure you get your classes done as well while I'm gone. I'm only doing this because I love you dear." She reminds me like always. She tells me everyday while she restricts what I eat.

"I'm nineteen you don't have to remind me, I'll remember." She kisses my head softly.

She leaves my room closing the door behind her, I got up and walked into the bathroom. I pulled out the scales she had bought me for Christmas a few years back.

I stepped on then dreading the number that would show. 103 pounds.

Her voice rang through my head when I stared at the number, "anything over 90 pounds it's too heavy."

She would shame everyone who walked passed when we were out, she would mumble under her breath about how people looked. I would scold her for it but it never ended well. They looked healthy and beautiful..

I heard the car pulling out of the drive as my parents left, they were gone for three weeks on this trip.

I closed my eyes dreaming of the world I had created in my mind, it was peaceful and full of cottages with fields holding precious flowers.

Where my mother was nonexistent.

I could eat what I wanted and dress the way I wanted. I'm a free person, but most importantly, he's there..

The next morning I threw out the pre-made salad in the fridge and grabbed the pill bottles from the counter. I took one of each.

Four types of diet pills
Anxiety pills
And a few diet gummies.

I was about to take them when a knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts, I set them on the counter and pulled open the door.

I gasped seeing Remington stood in all his glory, a tour bus behind him.

"Y/n..."

"R-remington what are you doing here?! You're not supposed to be here-" He cuts me off with a hug and bring me back into the house. He kicks the door shut behind him with his foot and carried me into the kitchen while he hugs me close.

"I've missed you so much.." he mumbles quietly into my hair. "I've missed you more Remi." I tell nothing but the truth.

When he finally set me back on my feet he looks around the kitchen since he's never been here before, "what are these?" He pokes at the pills I've left out on the counter.

"Diet pills.." I mumble under my breath, too scared to speak any louder. I await his reaction.

"You promised you wouldn't listen to her anymore, y/n." He speaks softly, his voice makes me melt, immediately comforting me. Something so simple reminds me that everything will be okay.

"I can't help it rem, you know what she's like." I tell him. He picks up the pills and throws them in the bin. "REM-" he silences me just by turning around.

"Not anymore, you look sick y/n.. it's not healthy. She's killing you." I know he's just looking out for me but I couldn't help but get defensive.
"She is not killing me! She is my mother!"

"She's forcing you not to eat. There's fucking locks on the fridge and on the cupboards!" Tears sting my eyes, they threaten to fall.

"I'm not sitting back and watching her kill you. It ends today." I furrow my brows and he opens the front door, his brothers walk into the house and upstairs. "Emerson? Sebastian? What are you doing?!" I yell running after them, I watch as they pull out suitcases and begin packing up all my stuff.

"Stop it! You're scaring me! Rem tell them to stop!" I cried out, he kisses my head and hugs me into his chest. "You're coming with us, I'm not letting you stay here any longer. Join us on tour and live your life without any stupid restrictions." He helps packing up all my stuff while I stand in the door way still trying to wrap my head around everything.

Once my closet is bare and my room is mostly shoved into two suitcases we walk outside, rem dragging me behind him and onto the tour bus.

"Y/n.." Me, shy and Larissa just stand a few steps apart, they look at me with a face full of sorrow.

"Shy.. Larissa.." they hug me tight as the bus begins to move. Once we finally pull ourselves together I cuddle on the couch with my head on Remington's lap.

The world I had created in my head, in my dreams was all wrong. There was never any cottages, no fields with flowers.

It was a tour bus with people I could call my family.

People who actually care.

Something that was right; he was here..

"Forever and always, y/n.." he spoke while he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Forever and always."