Finding myself

Chapter 11

I had gotten up early this morning to make it to my room. I am not sure, but I think Dave helped me up. I was fully tired and in a haze after crying yesterday. And I was sporting a hefty migraine so I really am not sure. But I did make it up before anyone saw me. My aunt still expected me to go to school though. Which was actually better than staying at the pack house.

The first thing I checked when I got up, however, was whether my hand was healed. And sure enough, it was. It was slightly sore though. I sighed in relief. My healing never failed me.

I slowly got out of bed and made my way to freshen up. Yesterday I had almost given up. I had almost given up my will to fight. I don't know how much more I will last under this pressure and that scares me. I can feel myself become so weak and vulnerable. So easily breakable. And I hate how much of a pathetic mess I've become.

My mom used to tell me that the biggest mistake a person can do, the biggest sin he can do to himself is losing his will. It is scary. And that is exactly where I am going. That is why I am determined to stay strong, to be happy and to see the single ray of light in even the darkest of darks.

Today I woke up prepared. There are many things to break me. But if I wallow in self-pity then break I will. No. I will stay strong and be happy and I will show them that they can't win. In fact, today I decided to be extra bubbly. If I am, then I will see things that will make me even happier.

When I woke up, the first thing I did was look at Blaze's room. He was up. I knew it. He always draws the curtains after he wakes up. Especially if Jemima joined him. As I stare out, I feel someone or something watching me. I have been getting this weird feeling for some time now and it slightly freaks me out. But most of the time I just shrug it off like it is my subconsciousness. It must be my imagination.

After I had freshened up and eaten my breakfast really early, (it is early in the morning and late at night for workers eating times) I had bounded up the stairs to see Amelia and I had given her the tightest hug and the history of mankind. I hugged a chucking mother Jane too much to Mindy's dislike but ran out before she could respond.

Amelia had known about the punishment and she had looked at my hand. I just smiled sheepishly and skipped away. I even saw Jem on the way and I was extra chirpy. Of course, Jem being who she is had reflected all that high, caffeine energy back to me and we had hugged and squealed for no reason. Crazy, I know. My cousins and my aunt had come down the stairs at that time and you can imagine the look on their faces. My aunt went on giving me a chillingly cold glare while my cousins looked at me in disgust. Dave had an amused smirk on his face. They didn't say anything though.

And that is the end of my happy morning. Now I was walking with Amelia to my third period when you-know-who decided to show himself.

"Zara!" And the next second I am embraced by Jason the one and only. Geez! I could actually hear him purring as he rubbed his head on my cap from behind me. I rolled my eyes. Does he ever give up? No, apparently not.

"Hey, beauty! Leave him and come with me." Jake stood in front of me with a full-blown smirk. I cannot express how cliché it was. He even had those teeth you see in cartoons that were always on full display when characters tried to woo girls.

I think his brother Drake was the only one who saw how truly lame all this was as he facepalmed himself. Amelia smiled softly.

Wait, Drake was here so that means...

Two scowling faces appeared from behind him. Sierra and the slut Lila. Did I forget to mention the two were best friends? Yeah, those two were joined at the hip. Ever since I was young, the constant and irreplaceable guest of the infamous movie nights was Lila. Both of them gave me death glares that if looks could kill, I would be down under, having dinner with Lucifer and his minions.