Irresistible [h.s]

Chapter 45

To say things got progressively worse is an understatement.

I've stayed at Sage's apartment for a week now. Once I slept over the first night, I just couldn't bring myself to go back to my apartment. That first night I had a breakdown but then I was fine, and I thought that it was going to get better.

Surprise, it definitely didn't.

With the amount of alcohol that I've consumed over the past week, I'm surprised I don't have alcohol poisoning. Also just to top that off, I've probably burned at least twenty calories with crying, and Sage has been forcing me to eat since I've lost my appetite.

As you can tell, I'm doing great.

I thought Sage was insane for putting up with me before, now she's basically a lunatic in my book. I've probably been the most annoying and laziest I've ever been in my entire life. If I'm not crying, I'm passed out in the bed with all my clothes on. To say the least, I've been a complete disaster.

I also haven't spoken or seen Harry the past week I've been over here. Within the first two days, there were only two calls. After the first two days pasted, he has been blowing up my phone. Text after text, call after call, I don't answer him once. I don't want him to know how much of a mess I am, I just want to be alone. I can't help but miss him though.

I miss his goofy laugh and his dumb smirk that I used to want to smack off his face. I miss waking up next to him and eating at the table together. I miss how being around him made me feel, and no matter how much I try to deny it, I need him. A few days ago I got so desperate to hear his voice, that I decided to call him while I was on a walk, but he didn't even answer. Then like an idiot, I left him a voicemail that I probably shouldn't have.

*Flashback*

I haven't spoken to Harry in four days, and I've now been at Sage's for five days. Today for some reason, I'm exceptionally sad. Lately I've been either more angry than sad, but today all I am is devastated over everything that happened between us.

I'm currently walking around a park as the sun is almost completely down, and the streets lights are beginning to come on. I see a swing set at the park, making a small smile appear on my face as I walk towards it. I sit down on the swing, swaying my legs back and forth slightly, getting lost in my thoughts once again.

Harry is all I can think about.

Not answering his calls these past four days has been extremely hard. Trying to ignore his worried and sorry texts has been excruciating. A part deep down inside of me just wants to call him just to hear his voice again...

So that's what I'll do.

I slowly grab my phone out of my pocket, looking through my contact names. Once I see Harry's contact name, I immediately freeze. Am I doing the right thing? Should I really be calling him? I try to push away all my questions and doubts as I quickly press the call button.

Once I hear it start to ring, I tighten my grip on the swing, letting the anticipation kick in. One ring after another, I start to feel this pang in my chest. Is he really not going to answer? That thought soon gets proven right when all I hear is the voicemail ladies voice start coming out of my phone. I want to be upset and pissed at him for not answering but I can't, because that's the exact same thing I've been doing to him, if not worse.

I then hear a loud beep, making me quickly look back down at my phone. "Hey it's me Leah" I speak slowly. "I'm um, I'm sorry I haven't answered your calls it's just-" I pause as I look down at the ground, swallowing hard. "I've had a really shitty few days" I admit in a weak voice.