tom holland ; imagines

"i'm in love with you" ; 1

INSPIRED BY THE SONG "Still" BY NIALL HORAN

You felt like you couldn't breathe. your lungs refused to pump oxygen, your heart beat raced at race car speed & your mouth couldn't form words as you looked at the scene before you. you couldn't move, you were stuck in place. peter parker, close friend & crush, the boy you've been in love with for ages was kissing another girl.

he was kissing mj, your best friend since elementary school, the girl you confided in with many of your secrets, including the 'i'm in love with peter' one. you were currently on a school trip through europe, which was chaotic & filled with many questions. it was the last day of the trip & you were currently in london. you & mj were with the others, fighting drones with medieval weapons.

you didn't realize that peter was missing & you immediately left with mj to find him. you looked for a while, both of spilt up to look for him, but mj found him first on the bridge. you soon arrived to the bridge & saw them. you were about to run up to them but... they kissed. that brings you back to where you were now. you watched them pull away & just stand there for a while.

you felt like your heart was ripped out of your chest. you've never felt like this before, you didn't know what to do now. so you left. you walked as far as you could away from that damn bridge to another random park & sat down on a bench. your head fell into your hands as you silently cried, the image of them still in your head.

the boy you've been in love with for years, kissing your best friend. what are the odds?

after a while, you calmed down & went back to the others, saying you got lost after they asked you were you went. soon enough, you arrived at a hotel to stay the night & then fly back in the morning. your teacher said there was one room that someone could have to themselves & you immediately took it, not wanting to be around anyone else at the moment.

peter, ned & mj looked at you with a confused look on their faces at your sudden decision but you ignored it & took the keycard from your teacher & took off to the elevator. when you arrived to your room, you got clean clothes out to change into after you showered. when you got out & changed, you headed straight to the window where there was a seat to sit on so you could stare at the night sky.

this trip has been everything you lest expected & you were thankful it was almost over. cause all you wanted to do was to go home & sulk in your room. you looked at the sky, the stars shining, the moon was out & the lights on the streets were shining too. it was nice to look at, but it didn't help keep your mind off of today. & just as you were about to fall asleep there, someone knocked on your door.

you expected it to be your teacher so you got up & opened it but you were met with peter standing there in his pj's with a smile on his face.

"what are you doing? it's like 12am peter. go back to bed" you said bluntly, closing the door. but before it fully closed peter's arm stopped it from moving.

"y/n, stop. I just wanted to check up on you. you seemed upset earlier & i just wanted to talk to you" he said as he opened the door more so he could see you.

"it's not the time peter-"

"y/n. let me in. please" he pleaded with you.

even though you were upset with him, you couldn't say no. so you let him in & the closed the door. you went back to sitting by the window & he pulled up a chair to sit beside you.

"you wanna tell me what's going on?" he asked you as you refused to look at him, you stared at your left wrist instead & played with a bracelet he got for you at the start of the trip.

"it's just gonna make everything worse if i tell you peter" you whispered, trying not to start crying in front of him.

"you can trust me, it won't make anything worse. be honest okay?" peter said.

"if being honest means telling you the truth... i-i'm, i'm in love with you. i have been since sophomore year when you came over to my apartment at 4am one night to check up on me... i was crying about my aunt passing away & you didn't try to sugarcoat it like everyone else. you just hugged me & let me cry & you told me you would be there for me. that was the moment i knew t-that i fell for you. i was too scared to tell you because i didn't want you to resent me for it. so i held it all in, which was so god damn hard" you let out, trying not to cry. he didn't say anything so you kept going.

"but um, today when i couldn't find you after we were fighting the drones or whatever they were, me & mj split up to go find you. but when i found you & mj on the bridge... everything just stopped. everything started to hurt so i just left. i still feel hurt, because mj knew. she knows how i feel about you, god she even said she thought we would be good for each-other, which sounds stupid now but i believed it. i love you peter & it hurts so much to love you" you said, tears falling from your cheeks.

peter just stayed silent. he tried to take everything in, looking back on everything from sophomore year to now. he felt like an idiot for how much you've been hurting, especially today when mj kissed him out of the blue.

"y/n, you have to know that mj was the one who kissed me. i didn't expect it, i really didn't. you know how much i care about you & i'm sorry you've been hurting all this time & i was too dumb to realize" he said as he wiped your tears, pulling you into a hug to try to help you calm down.

"i don't want to lose you now peter. i feel like i'm gonna lose you because you know" you said, hiding your head in his chest.

"your not gonna lose me" he said as he rubbed your back, holding you close.

"pete, how do i know that's for sure? when i told mj how i felt, she did this. how am i suppose to know that you won't do the same now that you know?" you pulled away & looked at him.

"you have to trust me" peter said.

"you don't even love me back do you?" you asked, needing an answer from him.

"i don't know. i've never thought of being in love with someone before. i just-i don't know" he said, saying how he felt.

"you should... you should just go now. we have a flight in the morning" you said as you finished wiping your tears, standing up.

"y/n please-"

"peter, just go" you said as you walked towards the door.

he followed after a few minutes of debating. he stood outside your door & looked at you one last time before you closed it. he walked slow back to his hotel room, went in & sat down on his bed, ned playing video games in the other bed.

"so what's up with y/n?" ned asked.

"she... she loves me" peter replied, his back falling against the bed, not knowing what else to say.