tom holland ; imagines

"i wish i was her" ; 1

INSPIRED BY THE SONG "Heather" BY CONAN GRAY

You were jealous of them. The laughing, the smiling, the hugs, the kisses- just everything. you always saw them wherever you went & it was breaking you slowly. ever since peter got with mj he drifted away from you to focus on his relationship, leaving you behind on your own confused.

you saw them in the halls with his hand in hers or around her waist, you saw them outside of school at the park or the coffee house or at your favourite places to eat. it was like they were throwing their relationship at you all the time. you & peter had a small thing, it was never official though.

you both shared a few kisses, you borrowed his clothes & sometimes went on small dates. even though it wasn't a real relationship, you wish it was. you got attached too quickly to him & it was your fault. that 'fling' you had with him happened months ago, but you've never felt the way peter made you feel with another guy.

currently, it was late at night & you were sitting on the top of your apartment building. you were doodling in your journal as the cold breeze of queens blew around you. the stars shined but the bright lights of the city were brighter. the door of the roof opened & you saw peter, which was a shock.

you eyes met with his for a second until you went back to drawing, trying to ignore his presence.

"hey" he said, hands on his pockets a she slowly walked closer to you.

"hi" you mumbled, not bothering to look up at him.

he kept his distance from you, but he was close.

"so... how have you been?" peter asked, looking at you as you continued to draw, your face concentrated.

"i've been fine peter. you?" you asked, still refusing to look at him.

"i'm good i'm good" he said, receiving silence in return.

"what are you draw-"

"what do you want?" you stopped drawing & looked up at him with an annoyed look on your face.

"i-i just wanted to talk. we haven't talked in a while & your mom said you'd be up here" peter said as he nervously scratched his neck.

"we both know why we stopped talking peter" you said as you continued to draw again.

"what do you mean 'we both know'?" he looked confused which just filled your anger.

"you have you to be joking right? you left me in the dust for mj remember?" you said a little bit harshly, looking up at him again.

"just because i started staying mj doesn't mean-"

"yes it does peter! you forgot about me! you left me behind for her! you'd didn't bother to keep me in your life anymore!" you yelled at him, tears filling your eyesight.

"i just got busy alright! i didn't mean to" he said, sitting in front of you so you would look at him.

"i liked you peter. i really did. i-i thought we could've had something you know? i wasn't too crazy for thinking that right?" you said again, wiping your tears.

"i liked you too y/n-"

"then why did you give her your sweater?" he looked at you with guilt once you said that.

"it's just polyester..." he said, causing you to scoff at him.

"but you like her better huh? isn't that right?" you said, putting your head into your hands.

"i wish i was her peter, i wish it so bad" then you started to break down a bit.

peter looked at you sympathetically, moving closer to you so he could comfort you in a hug.

he always hated it when you cried.

i wasn't sure how to end this but i think it's fine?