What Is Love? - Danny O'donoghue and Jessie J Fan-Fiction.

chapter 105 - back of my mind

*Danny*

I explained everything to holly, glen and mark.

Danny: she’s  has been waiting to hear back from the courts on a restraining order… kate has been texting her calling her, coming to see her, jess can’t have that!

Glen: how’d she get her number?

Danny: god knows but jess is getting it changed I know that… I better go check on her…

Holly: I’ll go…

Danny: you sure? I don’t want it to kick off…

Holly: it won’t, I promise…

She got up and walked towards the bedroom.

Mark: how you holding up man?

Danny: ok I guess, this Kate thing though it has really made jess feel shit recently which is putting a strain on us but we will pull through we always do…

I tried to reassure them and mainly myself. I grabbed us all a beer and we put the Man U vs Liverpool match on.

*holly*

I knocked on the bedroom door and went in. the light was off but I could hear jess’s sniffles. I looked for a lamp but in the end I just turned the bathroom light on so it wasn’t too light but not to dark. I sat on the edge of the bed.

Holly: don’t even wanna think about whats gone on in here…

I gently joke

Holly: sorry, not that time yet…

I looked at her and moved the hair that covered her face,

Holly: Danny told me what happened… it will be ok jess, any decent judge will see her harassment and she will get the blame… but you don’t even know if it will go that far…

Jess: I’ve never been so scared of myself

She almost whispers and cracks through the tears.

Holly: what do you mean?

Jess: what I did the blood that came from her face, I can still hear the horrible sound as her head hit the floor, what… what if I flipped at someone else and it was worse?

Holly: jess shut up, can you hear yourself? You’re not you at the moment, I think you know that too, and what you did to Kate was an act of self-defence, she went for you and you defended yourself…

Jess: no I could have just moved I didn’t have to smash her head into the floor…

Holly: it will be fine, please don’t sit in here and cry by yourself though… I hate the thought of that…

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Jess: I’ve been such a bitch im sorry

She broken down into fits of tears and I just pulled her into a hug. She won’t admit it and I don’t know if Danny sees it yet but jess isn’t herself and she isn’t well. Listening to how she has been the past few weeks im worried where she is going to end up…

Holly: shhh babe shhh, no you haven’t not at all, im the one that has been stupid and a bitch!

I held her tight for ages.

Holly: um jess im only asking cause im worried, please don’t get angry… have you been taking your meds?

She stayed silent

Holly: jess you need to, please take them; I don’t wanna see you end up like you were all them years ago…

Jess: mhm

Holly: promise me please?

Jess: I promise, ugh, are the guys watching the football?

Holly: I think so, why?

Jess: I feel like cooking, dinner?

Holly: sounds great, go sort yourself out and I’ll meet you in the kitchen…

I saw a faint smile in the dim light

Jess: thank you hols; I don’t know what I’d do without you…

Holly: what friends are for?

Jess: best friends

I smile and leave her to sort herself out.

*Jessie*

I really don’t feel good, mentally I mean. I came of my meds a few weeks ago because they make me tired and I don’t want to have to rely on them. They have finally left my system so my moods at the moment are all over the place and I constantly feel not worthy enough.

 I walk into the bath room after changing into sweats and a vest. I splash my face with cold water and rummage through my draws for some baby wipes to take the last of my makeup off; I see my little tub at the back of one of the draws and shut the draw before my brain can even think out doing it again.

My eyes graze over the faint but still visible scars that cover my body. A tear escapes my eye. I wipe them away and grab a hoodie before heading to the kitchen. I relapsed a few days ago, only a few tiny scratches because Danny came back from being at the shops but i know I can’t trust myself not to end up back there anymore…

I’ll talk with holly later I guess. But for now Ill push it to the back of my mind as usual…

 

****sorry its short and shit just a filler chapter:) please comment, vote and fan:Dxx****