Stage name: Jungkook
Birth name: Jeon Jung Kook
Musical group(s): BTS
Requested by: -
Dedicated to: -
~~~
You as you
I as Jung Kook
I'm sitting alone on the sofa where you used to be. I stare blankly at the door, not wanting my sight to get away from the door, believing that there is hope of you returning. It have been days, but I still am not able to sleep. Why, I dare not close my eyes, in case you will come back to me. Tears threaten to fall, I close my eyes, covering my tears. I don't want to make myself look so pathetic and ridiculous. I am suppose to be looking after you, protecting you from any harm, yet, I am here crying.
Memories come again, blinding by eyes with images from not long ago. My eyes are close, but filled with beautiful pictures of you. The smile you had on your luscious lips when we made eye contact. The laughter you let out to your heart's content when I said a cold joke. The tears that filled your brown eyes when I fail to protect you. I realise that it was all...my fault.
*Flashback*
A loud thud filled the entire apartment. I fumed, panting heavily as I glared at the opened present on the floor. It was a shoebox was wrapped beautifully with a sparkling blue wrapping paper, topped with black ribbons. But it was ruined with a dent on the side of the box. What have I done...?
I looked up, my vision shaking angrily as I stared at you. Clearly, tears filled your beautiful brown orbs as you wiped them away with the back of your wrist.
You said softly, outting on a small smile."Jung Kook, you said you like it right, that's why I--"
"I like it? Do you know what you have caused?!" I blasted at you unknowingly.
"W-what... What did I--"
"These shoes are fake! I wore it to the MAMA awards and do you know what the people are saying about me now?!" I said, breathing heavily, unable to calm down.
"Oppa... Are you sure? I--"
Cutting your sentence off again, I growled loudly at you. "I'm sure? How can you say that?! You delibrately wanted to humiliate me right?!"
"No... Why are you saying these, oppa...?" you sobbed, wiping your tears repeatedly.
I stared at your eyes, flooded with tears. Instead of giving in, I blasted at you again.
"I forgived you for losing the diamond ring I gave you. I forgived you for losing my favourite shirt. I even forgived you for losing the only thing my grandparents left me!" I hollered, pointing my index finger sternly at you.
Your eyes widened at me, shicked of what I had said.
"B-but...I-I didn't...! T-the sasaeng fans...they stole it from me! I didn't want to tell you, that's why I--"
"Sasaengs, sasaengs! Stop giving me excuses!" I snapped coldly, my eyes piercing through you.
"J-Jung Kook..." you croaked, tears running down your cheeks non-stop as grabbed my arm gently.
I scoffes and threw you on the floor, your head hitting the wall. You let out a small cry. I glanced at you worriedly but turned away immediately when you were okay.
"Get out." I snapped, turning away from you.
"W-what..." your soft frail voice manage to say.
"We...are over." I said, tears threatening to fall.
"No! Jung Kook! Please! P-please don't leave me!" you bawled, tugging onto my arm.
I clenched my fists and threw you away from me. You fell on the floor, letting out a small whimper as you kneeled behind me.
"Please... I can do whatever you ask me to...but don't leave me...!" you cried as tears flowed like a broken tap.
"I SAID GET OUT!" I growled at the top of my voice.
You stayed there for seconds, only to leave, without any single thing with you. Hearing the door close gently, I fell on my knees as I buried my wet eyes in my palms.
*Flashback end*
I let my tears fall as I open my eyes, staring disappointedly at the door. It is still untouched, no signs of you returning. Will my heart stop if I hold in my breath? It is so difficult to breathe normally with you, my heart is stopping without you by my side. I realise...that you mean so much to me.
More tears fall as my phone start to ring, blasting the sad song that I used as my ringtone. It make the atmosphere even worse. I drop my phone onto the floor as I squint my eyes shut, covering my ears. I want this all to end. I want you back. I want everything to return to normal, just like before, the first thing I see...will be your beautiful face.
I am waiting for you, please don't forget me. I am still here, in the apartment we used to share, every single memories lock in this house. Nothing has changed, but it's you, who have left. I run my fingers through my dark brown hair as I bawl even harder, not wanting to feel this terrible loneliness. I am still not over you, I remember everything about you, yet...only dust remains...not you.
I stand up and slowly head back to my room. Walking lifelessly, it will definitely take years to reach my room. But I cannot fill it up alone. This apartment is imcomplete without you. I tell myself I will forget you, I will not...wait for you. But the longing remains in my heart, spreading throughout my room, not disappearing. Because of that damn hope, I am here, waiting heartbreakingly for you.
I lean against the wall, my knees buckling as I feel tired, not having the energy to move anymore. I glance around the apartment as I collapse onto the floor, my back against the wall. Sitting here is an even bigger torture. I try to escape, telling myself you will never return. I said, not to call you, but I am still looking for you.
I regret. I'm sorry. Please...forgive me.
