South park oneshots

Kenman - You're cute

Request by kenny0McCormick.  Totally didnt accidentally publish this without a name and with no picture T. T

" SHUT UP DAMN JEW!" Cartman yelled, standing up from his chair as their class watched the pair like an episode of a reality show. " FUCK OF FATASS!" Kyle yelled back, rolling up his sleeves ready to fight. " Kyle come on dude, leave it" Stan frowned, looking bored as he played with his pencil. " I'M NOT FAT KYLE IM BIG BONED!" Cartman shouted, face heating up as he felt his blood boil. " OK SURE, CARTMAN YOU HAVE MORE ROLLS THAN A BAKERY!" Kyle yelled, poking Eric's stomach. " KYLE IM GOING TO FUCKING DESTROY YOU!" Cartman screamed, hot tears welling in his eyes as their classmates tried to hold back laughter. " DO IT THEN!" Kyle tested, frowning darkly as Stan started to look more concerned. " Wait Kyle-" He started, getting up and pulling his friend away. " GET OFF OF ME I NEED TO HIT HIM" Kyle cried, trying to wiggle out of Stans arms as Cartman looked like he was about to punch him. " YOU STARTED THIS ASSHOLE!" Cartman reminded him, his voice cracking slightly as he raised his fist. " WAIT NO-" Stan yelped, closing his eyes. Cartman suddenly whipped his head around when he felt a hand grip his wrist. " Eric." Kenny said firmly, his hood down, revealing his face and hair. Cartman instantly relaxed his muscles when he looked into Kenny's eyes as the room fell silent. The only noise was Cartmans panting, and even that was slowing down as he stared at his friend. " Cartman shook his head quickly, snatching his arm away when Kenny released it. " You know what, this isn't fucking worth it" He sat down, acting like the desperation on Kenny's face wasn't what had caused his change of heart. The door opening signalled Mr Garrisons return, who looked at Stan and Kyle confused when he walked in. " Why are you two on the flo-.. Never mind just get back to your seats" He sighed, slumping onto his chair at the front of the room. Cartman frowned at himself as the lesson continued like normal. He had never backed down from a fight like that before. Why the fuck did Kenny have so much power over him? He snuck a glance over at the blonde, his expression softening as he watched the boy chew on his pencil adorably. Why did looking at him make his chest fill with a weird warm feeling all of a sudden? He sighed, leaning his head on his hand as he stared at Kenny. The bell rung suddenly, snapping him out of his trance as the class stood up and began packing away. " Hey Cartman!" Kenny grinned, walking up to him happily. " What is it poor boy?" Cartman frowned, trying to hide the smile that he felt tugging at his lips. " Wanna go get coffee with me today? Tweek owes me so he said he'd give me a free one!" Kenny smiled. " Tsk.. Whatever" Cartman rolled his eyes, while inside he was screaming excitedly at the idea of spending the afternoon with the only decent person in South Park. " Sweet, lemme just grab my-" He began, before Cartman grabbed his arm, squinting at him. He looked into his eyes,  trying to figure out what Kenny had done to make him feel like this. " ...What?" Kenny asked nervously. " N..nothing" Cartman shook his head, letting go.  " Come on tangerine" He rolled his eyes,  picking up Kennys bag for him as he dragged him with him out of the classroom. " Hey dude quit it" Kenny chuckled,  wriggling out of Cartmans hold as he walked beside him. " Take your bag dipshit,  I'm not your slave" Cartman sighed,  thrusting the bag at his friend as they left the building. Kenny slung it on his shoulder,  looking confused as he noticed Craig approaching them,  an angry expression on his face. " CLYDE SAID THAT YOU SAID THAT M-" He began, making Cartman look down at him blankly.  " Hey Craig,  hows your mum?  I went to fuck her yesterday but the line was too long" Cartman interrupted,  smiling when Kenny burst into laughter and a scowl appeared across Craigs face.  " Oh you like that huh Ken?  I have another one,  Craig,  your mums so poor I pissed in your garden and she thanked me for watering the grass! " Cartman snickered as Craig stormed off and Kenny laughed harder.  " DUDE YOU ARE HILARIOUS! " Kenny laughed,  wiping tears of laughter from his eyes,  highfiving his friend who grinned back at him.  " See,  at least someone knows good comedy when they hear it"  Cartman chuckled as they continued walking. " I wish I could come up with jokes that quickly" Kenny smiled happily.  " Maybe I'll teach you my secret some day" Cartman laughed,  walking up to the Tweek Bros coffee shop.  It looked crowded inside and Kenny chewed his lip nervously.  " What is it dude? " Cartman asked,  noticing that Kenny looked hesitant to walk inside.  " I uh..  I've never really ordered coffee before. " He admitted.  " Well its not that hard you jus-" " No I mean..  Like..  Im not great at talking to people like that..  And theres kinda a lot of people inside and..  And I don't really like crowds. " Kenny blushed,  looking away awkwardly. He expected Cartman to make fun of him,  so shut his eyes tightly.  He was surprised however,  when he felt a hand stroke his shoulder comfortingly.  " Hey it's ok dude,  just wait here,  I'll only be a second. " Cartman smiled,  making Kennys heart flip in his chest.  Cartman would never show this side of himself to anyone but Kenny,  and he didn't mind that.  It made him feel special,  like Cartman felt more secure around him,  more like he could be himself. " What do you want me to order?" Cartman asked. " Hmm...  Surprise me" Kenny grinned,  showing his teeth as Cartman shrugged,  walking into the shop.  Kenny watched through the glass as he ordered,  waving at Tweek when Cartman pointed towards him so that he knew Eric wasn't lying about being with Kenny to get a free coffee for himself. Cartman eventually came out,  holding two cups,  handing one to his friend.  " Taste this" He said,  biting his lip as he watched Kenny take a sip. " You like it? " Eric asked,  seeming like he actually cared what the answer would be. Kenny smiled,  nodding happily.  Cartman let out a breath as he smiled.  " Yea I just uh..  I like that one is all" He lied,  not wanting to admit that he had remembered about the one seemingly insignificant time when Kenny had said about loving the flavour of hazelnuts. He didn't want to let slip that he actually payed attention to the tiny details that most people would find insignificant,  but truthfully everything about Kenny was important and worth remembering to him. " Thanks Eric" Kenny smiled warmly,  making Cartmans stomach erupt in butterflies when he watched dimples show up in the center of Kennys cheeks. " You're cute you know" Cartman chuckled,  making Kenny choke on the drink as his face flushed red. " Huh? " Kenny spluttered,  assuming that he had heard wrong. " You're cute" Cartman repeated. Kenny couldn't do anything except make flustered noises,  making Cartman laugh,  wrapping an arm over his shoulder as they walked to Erics house.  "C'mon asshole lets go" Eric chuckled,  ruffling the blondes hair.