Statehouse stuff

Anyways human slinkies

Rhode Island: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like 'look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I'm losing.'                                

Alaska: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

Ohio: Some people are like slinkies.

Indiana: What?

Ohio: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Indiana:

Indiana: Please don't push Michigan down the stairs.

Ohio, pushing Michigan down the stairs: Too late.

Gov: I thought you were going to give me a book recommendation or something.

Florida: *laughs* Book recommendation? I can't read!

Gov: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.

Florida: I will politely decline.

Florida: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can't take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth

Cali: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

Florida: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

Florida: *on the phone* Hey Mass, do you know my blood type?

Mass: Of course, it's B-.

Florida: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!