Ohne Dich (Sequel to Stirb Nicht Vor Mir)

Chapter 40

February 10, 2000

"Okay," I sighed. "You ready to go?"

"All of my stuff's in the car," Ville replied. 

The whole car ride was silent. No one wanted to speak. Ville was leaving to go on tour and I was obviously upset. He stayed up the whole night with me since we were both crying. I didn't want him to leave. I felt like I had just met him or something, but it was close to being a year since we met.

"Well, we're here," He said sadly. 

I helped him grab his bags and we walked inside. We stopped at security and I started sobbing. 

He was really leave. 

"Don't cry, Adette," He pulled me into him and stroked my hair. "It's alright. I'll be back soon."

"Hey, Ville?"

"Hm?"

"I listened to your record. The whole thing."

"You did?"

"Mhm."

"What'd you think?"

"I thought it was the best fucking record I've ever heard."

He chuckled softly and started crying, too. I squeezed him tighter. 

He sighed. "What's your favorite song?"

"'Resurrection'."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Ville?"

"Yes?"

"What are you going to be doing in between concerts?"

"Well, we're going to record our new record."

"Already?"

"Yeah, already."

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'll be back, Adette."

"What if something happens, Ville? Like, what if you have an asthma attack or something?!"

"I'll get help. I'll have people around me."

"Okay."

He let go of me and kissed me. "But, I have to get going."

"No you don't," I faked a smile. "You can stay here with me!"

He grinned. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Go have fun, okay?"

"Okay."

Watching him go was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life. I felt like I could do something to prevent him from going, but I didn't even make an effort. He needed to go, though. He was doing what he loved and I had to let him do that. 

I drove to my mom's house and saw that Till was there. 

"Aren't you going on tour?" I asked him. 

"No," He replied. "We're just going to go record our new record soon."

"When?"

"May."

"Oh, okay."

"You alright?" My mom asked. 

"Ville left today and I miss him," I wiped my eyes so that I wouldn't cry. 

"It's okay," She said. 

"And he told me last night that he might be gone all year to record that fucking record!"

"Adette, let me tell you something," Till patted an empty seat next to him on the couch. I sat down and he cleared his throat. "He's a musician, okay?"

"Okay," I nodded my head. 

"He's going to be gone and go touring a lot. You're going to miss him. But, it's his job, okay? You're going to be a psychologist soon and he'll miss you when you're gone."

"What's your point?"

"My point is that you're going to miss him, but don't be mad at him because he's gone. You love him and he loves you. He'll be back before you know it."

"But I can still miss him."

"I know you can, Adette," He sighed. "God, I'm doing this horribly."

"He's trying to prepare you," My mom explained. 

"For what?"

"You told me on New Year's that he's the one. Well, relationships aren't all good-especially when you're dating a famous person. He's going to be gone on tour and you're going to miss him. He might be drunk or high-"

"He doesn't do drugs."

"Okay. He might be drunk or something and all you want to do is talk to him, but he's doing something else and you might get upset-this is all a hypothetical situation. What I'm saying is that you guys will talk, but it's not all fun and games. He might be getting himself into shit sometimes (like drinking and maybe drugs, I don't know)."

"Oh God!" I breathed heavily. 

I remembered that I had all of the band members' numbers, so I ran into the office and dialed Mika's number. 

"Hello?" He answered. 

"Hi," I panted. "Listen, I need you to-"

"Are you alright."

"I'm fine! Just listen to me! You guys are going to be gone on tour, okay? Please, please make sure that Ville doesn't get himself into any shit, okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"No drugs or groupies or-"

He started laughing hysterically. "We're not like that, Adette."

"I understand. But I want you to make sure he doesn't do anything, okay?"

"Okay, fine."

"Thanks."

"Yeah."

"Bye."

I shuddered. That was one of the most awkward moments ever. I walked back out and sat down next to Till. 

"Now, another thing," My mom said. "Don't be mad at him when he's on tour. He might not answer, too. He might be busy."

"He'll probably be in a place with a different time zone as you," Till added. 

"Okay," I stood up. "I think I'll be able to do this. Bye guys, love you."

I walked out to the car and drove back home. The real reason why I wanted to leave was because I was about to cry uncontrollably. I sobbed all the way to Neil's parents' house. I needed to see Ashton. Ashton spent the night with them and called Neil. It would be awkward if I called Neil, so I just let him spend the night. 

I missed Ville terribly and I didn't know how I was going to handle him being gone for almost this whole year. At least I would have school to keep me occupied. 

I picked up Ashton and drove home. Since it was already late, I gave him a bath, fed him dinner, and put him to bed. 

I was rocking him back and forth and softly singing, "Right Here in my Arms" by HIM. He seemed to be enjoying it, because he started giggling. I kissed the top of his head softly and put him in his crib, then changed into some pajamas and got ready for bed. 

I laid down on my back on the bed waiting for Ville to call. After 20 minutes had passed, I knew that he wasn't going to call. I didn't tell him to call me, but I would've thought that he would want to tell me goodnight or something. I guess he didn't, so I put my phone down on the dresser and fell asleep. 

The upcoming months were going to be very difficult.