Ohne Dich (Sequel to Stirb Nicht Vor Mir)

Chapter 122

May 28, 2010

Corey and the rest of the band had been off since the twenty fifth-when they had to tell the public about Paul's death. 

Corey and I got ready for the funeral-we obviously weren't bringing any kids. 

When we arrived at the memorial park, I saw a group of people huddled around. We got out of the car and everyone turned to face us. We walked over to everyone and Corey hugged all the members of 'Slipknot'. 

Shawn looked down at me and smiled. I hugged him and sighed. I hugged everyone else, too, but ended up hugging Craig the longest. 

Tears were already coming out of my eyes. Then, I saw Brenna. She was very upset. I hugged her, but it was shorter. I got the feeling she didn't like me. 

We walked inside and had the service. The whole time, I was holding Corey's hand. Corey and I promised that we would squeeze each others' hands when we felt ourselves start to cry. 

I didn't squeeze his hand-I didn't want him to worry. But, when he squeezed mine, I grabbed his head and rested it on my shoulder and massaged his head while occasionally rubbing his arm.

After the service, we went to the burial site. 

I could barely see. My eyes were so fogged up with tears. When they lowered him into the ground, I just stared while crying. Paul's parents were hugging Brenna while she sobbed. 

I was doing most of the comforting for Corey. He knew Paul longer than I did. 

I felt really bad for Corey. He hadn't left our room. He was still drinking water and eating, but he was obviously upset. I think that his cause of death (overdose) was what really got to him. 

What hurt me the most was that Paul had a family. He was about to have a daughter, but he died. He would never get to meet her and she would never get to meet her dad. That broke my heart more than anything. 

After the funeral, we all talked. 

"So, how's life with you two?" Shawn asked. 

"Good," I smiled. "You guys have to come around to meet Everleigh again."

"How old is she?" Joey asked. 

"Four, I think," I said. 

"She's four," Corey chuckled. 

"How are Angeline and Griffin?" Shawn asked. 

"Good," Corey said. "Can you believe Angeline is fucking 18?!"

"No way!" 

"Yes!"

I was confused as to why Paul wasn't saying anything, but then I remembered why. 

He wasn't there. 

My eyes started tearing up, so I turned away and wiped them. 

"I'm going to the car," My voice cracked as I told that to Corey. 

I snatched the keys out of his hands and walked to the car. I was sobbing as I got in and slammed the door shut. I hit the dashboard and just cried. 

I wanted Paul so bad. He was so sweet and kind and filled with love. He was filled with love. 

I was getting so frustrated that I kept having to say "was". Why couldn't he had just stayed? Why did he have to leave? It should've been someone else. Paul did nothing to no one-he always put others before himself. 

There was a tap on the window and I saw Joey standing in front of the window. I opened up the door and wiped my eyes.

"You alright?" He asked. 

I shook my head. 

"Come here," He opened his arms and hugged me. 

"He's really gone, Joey," I sobbed. "He's gone. We're never getting him back."

"I know, I know."

"Hey," Someone said. 

I looked up and saw Sid standing there. 

"Need another hug?" He asked. 

I smiled and hugged him. "How are you guys not crying?"

"Men don't show their feelings-duh."

I could feel Sid's voice vibrate against my ears as my head hit his chest. 

"Says the one who made a recording of you screaming and crying about the death of their grandpa," Joey snapped back. 

"You know what, motherfucker?!"

I chuckled and let go of Sid. 

"Adette," Corey ran over to me. "I'm going to go out with the guys, is that alright?"

"Yeah, that's fine," I kissed him. "Bye."

"You guys coming?" Corey asked Sid and Joey. 

"We'll stay with Adette," Sid replied. 

I handed the keys to Corey as I walked away with Sid and Joey to the car they took together. 

-------------------------------------------------------

"Eat whatever you want," I said as we arrived at my house. 

I ran to my room and changed into a tank top and shorts. I walked back downstairs and saw Joey holding a script. 

"What is this?" He asked. 

"You can't have that!" I snatched the script from him. "It's a script for an episode of a T.V. show that I'm going to be in."

I put it in my room really quickly, then ran back downstairs. 

"Let's watch it, then," Sid suggested. 

"Okay," I turned on an episode. 

Joey and Sid didn't really find it amusing, but they put up with it because they knew that it would calm me down. 

My eyes were slowly starting to shut, but I had managed to keep them open.

"Go to sleep," Sid said. 

"But I don't want to," I replied. 

That was a lie. I ended up falling asleep on his shoulder. 

God bless Sid and Joey.