Ohne Dich (Sequel to Stirb Nicht Vor Mir)

Chapter 89

December 25, 2004

I silently get out of bed and grab the presents I got for Corey, Taylor, and my mom out of my closet and put them underneath the tree. 

I then grab my phone and call Neil. 

"Hello?" Amelia answered. 

"Hi," I replied. "Is Ashton there?"

"Oh, yeah! Ashton, come here!"

"Hello?" Ashton asked. 

"Hi, buddy. It's Mommy."

"Hi, Mommy!"

"What are you doing?"

"I-I-I'm-I-I got a present!"

"You got a present?! What'd you get?!"

"I got a-a-a race car. And it goes really fast. A-A-And it says, 'Vroom Vroom' really loud!"

"That's so cool, Ashton. I love you."

"You tell me that all of the times."

I chuckled. "That's because I love you all of the times."

"Ashton, we have to get going," I could hear Neil faintly say. 

"Bye, Mommy," Ashton said. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

He hung up the phone and I sighed. I missed Ashton terribly. 

I wondered where I would be if Neil wasn't in the movie. Would we have stayed together? I mean, if we stayed together, I wouldn't have ever met Ville. 

"What are you thinking about?" My mom sat down next to me. 

"I just-Neil and I were so irresponsible. We were in love and young, so we decided, 'Let's have fucking sex!' I regret it, Mom. I can't see my fucking son on Christmas. It's Christmas, Mom, and I can't see my son!"

"Come here," She held me as I cried. "There are consequences that come with your mistakes."

"Ashton is not a mistake."

"Did I say that?"

"No. I just miss him so much. I know that I saw him yesterday, but I just-I need to see him, Mom."

"Are you going to go out?"

"No."

"So, you're going to stay in my house all day?"

"I'm probably going to see my dad."

"That's what I thought. On your way there, you could always say 'hi' to Ashton."

"He might not be at Neil's house."

"He might not, you're right."

I clung onto her tighter. "Are you okay?"

"With what?"

"Just in general. I mean, you had a nasty breakup with Till and-"

"Adette, no breakup is ever going to go smoothly-there's a reason why you're breaking up. I made an assumption and it wasn't true. Instead of letting him explain, I just charged at him and he doesn't want that. I guess some things aren't meant to be."

"Yeah."

"How are things with you and Ville?"

"There's nothing going on between us two. I mean, I guess I'm fine, but it still hurts, you know?"