Ohne Dich (Sequel to Stirb Nicht Vor Mir)

Chapter 46

June 22, 2002

"I mean, we never got to go to Finland to meet your parents last month," I shrugged my shoulders. "Maybe we could invite them over?"

"Maybe, Adette," Ville replied. 

"Hey, what's the matter?" I rubbed his back. 

"My stomach just hurts."

"You know why."

"I'm not going to fucking eat," He got up and walked outside. 

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. This past month had been really hard. He was so dead-set on not being fat that he would just not eat. I was worried for him because it wasn't healthy. I know I wasn't supposed to force him to eat, but if I didn't, then how would he eat? 

There was a knock on the door, so I got up and opened it to find April, Phil, and Bam standing in the doorway. 

"Hi!" I hugged them all and invited them in. "Ville didn't tell me you were coming."

"That's because we didn't tell him," Bam chuckled. 

We had grown really close with them. Bam was always over and I didn't mind. He was really fun to hang out with and his parents were hilarious. 

"Ville's outside," I told them. "Let me go grab him."

"I'll go with you," Bam said. 

As soon as we got to the door, I pulled him away from the handle. 

"He's in a bad mood," I warned him. 

"Why?"

"He just won't eat."

"You can't force that on him."

"Then how will he eat?!"

"Baby steps, Adette. Baby steps."

He walked outside and I sat down on the couch with April and Phil. 

"How have you been?" April asked me. 

"Good, good. And you guys?"

"We're making it," She chuckled. 

"With Bam's shenanigans, I don't know how much longer we're going to make it," Phil chortled.

Then, the doorbell rang. 

"I'll get it," I raced over to the door and opened it to find Neil and Ashton standing there crying, so I walked outside with them, shutting the door behind me. "What's wrong?"

"We almost got into a car accident so I started freaking out and yelling which scared Ash," Neil replied, running his hand through his hair. 

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, can you just take Ashton?"

"Sure," I took him out of Neil's hands as he walked over to the car and collected himself. I walked back inside and handed Ashton to April and Phil. "Can you watch him for a sec?"

"Sure, hun," April replied. 

"Thanks," I walked back out and stood next to Neil. "What happened?"

"This motherfucker decided to run a red fucking light as we were crossing the fucking midsection! Thank God I stopped in time and saw him before hand because if I didn't, I don't know what I would have done or where Ash would be or-God. I'm freaking out."

He was bawling at this point, so I rubbed his back. It was a little weird to do-considering I would do this when we were dating-but he needed to calm down and breathe. 

"You okay?" I asked after he was breathing consistently. 

"Yeah, thanks."

I took my hand off of his back. "Want to go say bye to Ash?"

"Yeah, sure."

We walked inside and he quickly said bye to Ashton who was eating. I walked Neil back out and he asked where Ville was. 

"Out smoking with Bam in the backyard," I replied. 

"I don't want Ashton around them."

"What do you mean?"

"If they're going to be smoking and drinking and whatever, I don't want him to be around them."

"He's not-Are you kidding me?!"

"What do you mean?"

"I bet you drink around him all the time!"

"I don't drink all the time, Adette. I know how to regulate my drinking."

"Oh, oh, you can regulate your drinking, huh? They can drink whenever the fuck they want to drink. They can smoke whenever the fuck they want to smoke."

"I understand, Adette. What I'm saying is that I don't want Ashton around them when they're doing that, okay? He just needs to stay inside."

"Your house equals your rules. My house equals my rooms. Don't tell me what I can and can't do with my son. I'll see you next week."

I walked back inside, shut the door, locked it, and sat down in the living room, but I couldn't find Ashton. 

"Where's Ashton?" I asked April and Phil. 

"Outside with Ville and Bam," Phil replied. 

"God, I'm a hypocrite," I muttered to myself while walking outside to grab Ashton. 

"Oh, he's fine out here," Bam said. 

"I don't want him out here," I brought him inside. "Sorry, buddy."

"It's okay," He said. "I'm hungry."

"We'll eat dinner soon."

Ville and Bam came inside and threw their trash away. Ville then walked over to me and hugged me. 

"I'm sorry," He said. "I snapped at you."

"It's fine," I smiled and kissed him. 

We all sat down on the couch and I had Ashton sit in my lap. 

"Mommy?" Ashton asked me. 

"Yes?"

"Can I go to my room and play with my toys?"

"Sure," I put him off of my lap and watched him go up the stairs and I shook my head. 

"What?" Ville asked. 

"He's growing up too fucking fast. He's already four! I remember me giving birth to him!"

Bam chuckled. "Kids."

"When are you guys going to get married?" April asked anxiously. 

"Don't know," I replied. 

"Another question," Phil said. "Who is 'In Joy and Sorrow' about? Bam plays it all the time and April and I think it's about Adette, but Bam said that it's just a love song."

"It is about Adette," Ville replied. "She's the main inspiration for the record that just came out."

"Yeah," I chortled. "Especially 'Heartache Every Moment'."

"Shut up. But, I mean, not every single love song is about Adette. We just like to write love songs."

"Yeah," Bam stuck his tongue out. 

"When you guys get married, you better invite us," April chuckled. 

"Sure thing," Bam wrapped his arm around Ville making us all laugh. 

To be honest, I didn't want to plan the wedding until we were alright. I was not doing the best-with the movie my mom and I made and all its success-and neither was Ville. He had an eating disorder and was heavily smoking. If he wasn't willing to cut that out at least just a little bit, I didn't know if I was going to be able to make things work.