Ohne Dich (Sequel to Stirb Nicht Vor Mir)

Chapter 124

June 1, 2010

"Let's go," I told Everleigh. 

She got into the car and I buckled her up. Corey got into the driver seat and I went into the passenger. The whole time, I looked out the window. I couldn't look at Corey. I was frustrated with him-just being near him made me so agitated. 

When we arrived at the airport, we just went straight to the dropping off station-I wasn't going to walk him inside like I normally did. Corey knew I was mad at him, but he acted like he didn't and that frustrated me even more. 

Corey got out of the car as we stopped and Everleigh asked, "Where's Daddy going?"

"He has to go," I unbuckled her and had her hold my hand. 

It was very loud and crowded-there were so many people. I was internally freaking out, but I was trying to imagine it just being Everleigh, Corey, and I. 

All the other kids had said bye to Corey the day before. They weren't crying-not as much as I was. 

Corey grabbed his bags and set them in front of him, closing the trunk of the car. 

"Let's go!" Everleigh let go of my hand and walked up to her dad. 

"You're not coming with, Everleigh," Corey told her. "Daddy has to go somewhere."

"But, I want to go with."

"I know you do," He hugged her. "I love you."

"Where are you going, Daddy?"

"I'm going to go play music with my friends."

"Oh! You're going to come back, right?"

"Of course. I'll always come back."

"How long are you going to be gone for?"

"A long time."

"Oh," She hugged him. "Bye, Daddy."

"I love you!" He called out as she got into the car, but she couldn't hear-it was too loud. 

"Okay," I looked at him. "Bye."

"What?" He asked. "No hug or anything?"

"Fine," I leaned forward to give him a hug, but he gently pushed me away. 

"What the fuck, Adette?"

"You're leaving, you have to hurry."

"You've never been this mad when I've had to leave to go on tour. What's the fucking difference now?"

"I hate it, Corey. I'm sick and tired of you leaving. You're going to be gone majority of the year! What am I supposed to do while you're gone?! Hm?!"

"I'm sorry, Adette. But you cannot be mad at me-"

"I'm going to be mad at you, Corey. You're damn fucking right I'm going to be fucking mad at you."

"Mommy?" Everleigh asked. 

"Get back in the car," I told her. 

"But-"

"No! Get back in the car."

"What's up, Everleigh?" Corey asked. 

She hugged him. "I love you, Daddy."

She went back in the car and I shook my head and started to softly cry. 

"Not only are you leaving me," I continued. "But you're leaving her. She won't see her dad for, like, over six months. You're leaving Angeline and Griffin and Ashton. They're going to miss you, too!"

"Do you not think I haven't thought about this before, Adette?! Obviously they're going to miss me and I'll miss them, too! But I have to do this! How else are we going to get our money?! You're not even fucking working!"

"Because I didn't need to! Now I do and I will start working!"

Corey sighed. "I don't want to argue."

"That sucks, doesn't it?"

There was silence. 

No words could describe my anger towards him. Just looking at him made me so annoyed. He was leaving us for a fucking band. Who knows what the fuck he was going to do there? He would probably get stoned every night and get drunk and go have sex with some fucking groupies. 

"Do you hate me?" He asked. 

"Not in this moment, no. But, there's no guarantee I won't."

"You know what frustrates me the most?! You got married to me. You knew that I was going to be going on tour constantly because I tour, Adette-it's what I do for a fucking living! But, now it's such a huge problem that I'm leaving."

"You always leave," I started crying. "I'm going to miss you, Corey. You're leaving me."

"IT'S MY JOB!"

"I don't like it-that's all I'm saying."

"No, no! You're getting mad at me because I have to leave!"

"Because I don't want you to leave, Corey!" I was sobbing. "I want you to stay here with us! I want you to stay! But you're not! You're fucking leaving to go on a fucking tour! You know what? It's whatever. It's done now. Us having this conversation isn't going to do us any good. You leave. Call me when you land."

"Wait!" He shouted as I walked away, so I turned around to look at him. "I love you."

I stared at him for a good couple of minutes. I was debating on whether or not I should've said it back. I was angry at him, sure, but I still loved him. I loved with with all of my heart-that's why I was arguing with him. 

I walked to him and kissed him, crying even harder. "I love you."

I got into the driver seat and drove away. 

"Wait, Mommy, you forgot Daddy!" Everleigh shouted. 

"No, he's leaving us, remember?"

"Mommy, you left him! You have to go get him!" She started to cry as I drove away. "Daddy! Daddy!"

"Everleigh, he's not coming home with us! Knock it off!"

She cried softly and muttered, "I want Daddy."

I cried harder and sped off to go back home. 

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After putting Everleigh down, I heard her door open. 

"Oh my fucking God," I rushed upstairs and saw her out of bed. "Get back in bed."

"Mommy, I can't sleep."

"You haven't even tried."

"I don't want to sleep. I want to see Daddy."

I sighed. "Come on. We're only doing this one time."

We laid down in her bed and I showed her videos and pictures of her dad on my phone. Some of them were....suggestive, so I had to quickly skip past them. 

In the middle of a video, I looked over and saw Everleigh sleeping. 

I kissed the top of her head and was about to get out, but I decided to stay. I had never slept in her bed before. Her dad was leaving for a while-the worst I could do was to stay. 

I laid my head back and shut my eyes, praying to dream about Corey.