Ohne Dich (Sequel to Stirb Nicht Vor Mir)

Chapter 130

November 10, 2010

Corey sat down on the other side of me at the kitchen table. Everleigh, Angeline, Ashton, and Griffin all sat down in their own seats. Everleigh wouldn't know what we were talking about, but that was alright. 

"We have some news," Corey abruptly said. 

Angeline looked at me and gave a sympathetic look, so I smiled at her. I wasn't ready to leave them. I didn't want to leave them. I had been with Angeline since she was a teenager and now it can't be that way anymore-I can't be there for her. 

"What news?" Ashton asked. 

"Try to guess," Corey replied. 

"I know!" Griffin shouted and then started laughing. "You guys are getting a divorce!"

I just looked at Corey, then back at Griffin. 

"Wait, I-I was j-j-just kidding," Griffin stuttered. 

"You guys are getting a divorce?!" Ashton shouted. 

I nodded my head slowly. "We're getting a divorce."

"Why?!" Griffin asked. "You guys love each other!"

"Sometimes love isn't the key," Corey went to reach out and hold Griffin's hand, but Griffin swatted him away. 

"I'm mad at you guys!" Griffin walked away. 

I looked at Angeline. "What are your thoughts?"

"Why?" She sniffled. 

"There's no clear answer," Corey replied. "But, we keep arguing constantly-"

"Then you resolve the conflicts! Divorce isn't always the answer!"

Corey and Angeline started going back and forth. I looked over at Everleigh who was just playing with her dolls, then looked at Ashton. His face was buried in his hands and he was crying. 

I walked up behind him and rubbed his back. "Hey, Ash?"

He didn't answer, so I just left him alone. 

"Mom?" He looked up. 

"Yeah?"

"Can we go talk outside?"

I nodded my head as we walked into the backyard. 

"I know why you guys are getting a divorce," He told me. 

"Why do you think so?" I asked as we sat down on the furniture outside. 

"Because you kissed that other guy-I've seen it in the magazines."

"That's not the only reason, Ash. We've just been dysfunctional. We've been growing apart, too."

"I'm not going to be able to see Corey anymore, am I?"

"Whenever you want to visit him, you let me know and we'll arrange something."

"THIS ISN'T FAIR, MOM! HOW COULD YOU GUYS DO THIS?!" He walked inside and slammed the back door. 

I shook my head and felt tears coming. This was how it was-I ruined my children's lives. It was selfish of us to get a divorce, but we needed to. I didn't want to, though. 

I loved Corey so much. I loved everything about him-how he wasn't afraid to express his opinions, how sweet and kind he was, how much he loved his kids, and how much he used to love me. 

I would always love him, but I didn't know if he would always love me. 

I didn't want to think about that, so I walked inside and saw Corey crying at the table. I rubbed his back and kissed his head. 

"We have to tell your parents, my parents, my friends, your friends, everyone," I reminded him. 

"Yeah, I know."

I went through the front door and took a walk around the neighborhood-I needed to get out. Then, I called Ryan. 

"Hello?" He answered. 

"Ryan, Corey and I-" My breath hitched and I started crying again. "We're-"

"You're what?"

"Divorce."

It pained me to say that. The more I said it, the more real it felt. 

"I'm driving to your house right now."

He hung up and I sat down on my driveway staring at the sky. I just wanted a perfect family, but I had to go and fuck that up. If I didn't kiss that guy, none of this would've happened. 

Ryan pulled up and got out of his car, so I ran up to him and hugged him. I clutched him tight as he held me. 

"Hey, it's okay," He told me. 

"No it's not. I fuck everything up."

"That's a lie and you know it."

I did know it. "Ashton's mad at me, Griffin's mad at me, I don't know about Angeline or Everleigh, though."

"It's okay. Why are you guys getting a divorce?"

"We've just been arguing more and we know we're falling apart-as much as we hate to admit it."

"Adette, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine."

He pulled away and then his eyes lit up. "You could come stay with me!"

"What?"

"You and Ashton could come stay with me at my house!"

"And Everleigh."

"Right."

"That's three people."

"It's alright-I love kids."

I smiled. "Well, I guess that's fine. Just until I'm back on my feet, though."

"Yeah."

He started talking about everything that we were going to do, but I couldn't focus. I wouldn't be married to Corey anymore and that pained me more than anything in the world. I caused all of this. If I didn't kiss that guy, none of this would've happened. 

"Adette," Ryan noticed me dozing off. "Everything happens for a reason."

"I just wish I knew the reason for this."