Ohne Dich (Sequel to Stirb Nicht Vor Mir)

Chapter 129

November 5, 2010

Corey and I had been arguing on and off non stop. It was the same cycle. We would argue, I would sleep at my mom's house, get a call from him begging me to come back, then the whole thing would start over again. 

I got sick and tired of it, so when all the kids left, I decided to talk to him. 

"Corey?" I asked him. 

"What?" He set down his phone and looked at me. 

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

"You are right now."

I chuckled. "We got married on-"

"April 21, 2007."

"Yeah," I smiled. "We've been married for three years and it has gone by so quickly."

"It's gone by really fast, yes. What is your point?"

"This whole year, we've been arguing. We've been getting mad at each other, yelling, all of it. I hate it."

"I'm not the one that starts the arguments, though. You're just pissed off about one little thing and go off on every little fucking thing."

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do, Adette! YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW!"

"SO ARE YOU!"

"Adette."

"What?"

"What are you hoping to accomplish out of this conversation?"

I started sobbing. "You said you wanted to get a divorce, but you won't for Everleigh. Corey, do you know what that means? It means that you don't want to be with me anymore, but you feel you have to."

"It's not that I don't want to be with you anymore, Adette! It's just that I don't know if we're good together or not. Look at how we first started dating: I was already married and in a relationship. Now look at us. We're arguing constantly. Sometimes I don't want to come home, Adette. I want the old 'us' back, but I know it won't. We never communicated with each other and that caused a lot of conflict."

I continued to cry. "Well, if you really feel that way, then what do you want to do?"

He looked down at the floor and tears filled his eyes. "A divorce."

There was this pain in my stomach and I gasped. When he said that, it all felt real-it felt like we were really going to get a divorce, but I didn't want that. 

"Corey," I sobbed. "You don't mean that."

"I wish I didn't mean it, Adette, but look at us! We're growing apart! I miss you and all the kids terribly! You guys can't come on tour with us, though!"

"You never fucking invited us!"

"I didn't think I would have to invite you!"

I hated this. I hated all of the arguing-all of the conflict. We tried so hard not to argue when the kids were around because we didn't want them in that environment, but we couldn't control it. I didn't know if we had some built up anger towards the other that we were letting out all at once or if we were just really falling apart. 

I didn't want to lose Corey. Corey was the love of my life and I couldn't lose him. He made me feel whole. It took so long for us to get here. 

I cried harder when I realized we had only been married for three years. 

"Adette," He hugged me and cried, too. "I don't want to get a divorce either, but I think we need to."

"I won't be able to see Angeline or Griffin anymore!"

"You could visit them anytime you want to."

"I'm going to see Everleigh less. DAMN IT, COREY! I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN!"

"I DON'T WANT IT TO HAPPEN EITHER!"

I clutched him tighter and buried my face in his chest. "I love you, Corey."

"I love you too, Adette."

That was why we had to do this-because we loved each other. I always wanted what was best for Corey and I would always put myself before him. If the divorce was what he truly wanted, so be it.