//Strip club lights\\ Michael X Noah

~23~ "You're not going."

~POV: Michael~ (Bold letters are bad thoughts by the way<3 well expect for these obviously LOL)
The sound of loud rain pattering against the window woke me up, I usually love rain, but it's annoying when I'm trying to sleep.

I don't want to get up.

Partly because I'm lazy, partly because I know if I get up I'll have to go on an emotional rollercoaster with Noah about this mission.

I mean obviously, as his boyfriend I don't want him to just leave with the possibility of not coming back.

And he already said yes to it without even asking me.

I don't want him to go.

I want him to stay with me, and leave whatever work he has to do behind.

I sat up and looked over at him, he was still sleeping completely peacefully, his lips parted ever so slightly to breathe.

I ran my finger along his jawline, kissing his cheek.

His eyes fluttered open to no surprise of mine.

I wasn't like trying to wake him.

Then again, we do need to talk about his mission.

He let out a quiet sigh and closed his eyes again, yawning slightly.

"Darling... We should probably talk." I lightly held his chin, helping him to look at me and not fall asleep again.

"No... I don't want to fight..." He pulled away from my soft grasp and turned his head.

"You're not going," I stated firmly, straightening my face so he'd know I'm attempting to be serious.

"I have to Michael." He chuckled tiredly.

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you go on an incredibly dangerous mission without any knowledge if you're gonna live or die." He sat up, rubbing his eyes knowing I was actually serious.

"You're not going." I restated slight tears in my eyes. "And we're not procrastinating this anymore! We are having whatever this is!" I hopped off the bed, gripping my hair from panic- or- stress- I don't know.

"Okay, calm down. We'll figure this out." He stood up as well, walking a bit towards me.

"Don't tell me to calm down. You're not going." I wiped my tears, hiding my face in my hand, the slight whimper in my voice.

"Michael. I'm going. I know that upsets you, but I have to go." I hated how he remained so calm, it made me look like the crazy one.

I'm not crazy.

It's not crazy to want him to stay.

It might be selfish though.

It's not.

He has work to do, he always respected your work, so why can't you just do that too?

"You don't know what upsets me! You have no fucking idea!" I screamed, gesturing towards my chest.

I think my shout surprised him because he jumped slightly.

He didn't respond, just looked at me in an odd way.

I didn't like it.

I fidgeted with my hands in front of me, picking at my skin.

Am I having a panic attack again?

Fuck.. Fuck. Fuck.

My arm started to sting, and I could tell Noah was also starting to panic.

Probably wondering whether to call Skye or not.

I flopped down onto the office chair, placing my hand on my neck and picking at my skin there too.

"Darling, don't hurt yourself." He knelt down next to the chair, holding my hands lightly.

I let him, trying my best to calm down my breathing.

I hid my head in my lap, choking on my tears.

He rubbed my back in circles, not sure what to say or do that would help.

Because we both knew nothing would actually help.

I was having a panic attack and neither of us could do anything about it.

"Should I call Skye? Maybe she can bring you something to help?"

I nodded in my hands, and his hand suddenly left my back.

He stood up and grabbed his phone out of his pocket, dialling and leaning on the wall.

"Hey... Yeah, sorry to call again-"

He's getting annoyed with you! Stop it!

"Okay, thanks." He placed his phone back in and kneeled down in front of me again, using his finger to lift my chin up to look at him.

"Skye's coming okay? She'll help you."

"I'm sorry." I choked out.

"It's okay darling, I feel awful about going but I need to."

I nodded. "Be careful at least..." Blood ran down my arms slightly, the cuts weren't that deep, but they were noticeable.

"I will."

A knock came on the door, it opened to reveal Skye standing with Posi and Lily beside her.

Well, this is familiar.

"Are you alright?" Skye walked over to me as Noah stood up, leaving room for her.

I nodded, even if I didn't know if it was true or not.

Skye gestured everyone out, they did as they were told. Noah gave me a quick glance of worry before leaving.

"I heard about Noah going. That must be stressful for you." She held her hand out, indicating I should give her my arms, to bandage.

I did as she wanted.

"Oh, dear..." She mumbled, examining the lines of scratches. "Are there any more?"

I lifted my neck, revealing a couple there too.

"Oh, Jesus, okay don't worry you'll be fine." She took some bandages out of her purse and began to wrap my arms.

"You know the drill of what I'm about to say to you."

I nodded, knowing she was about to say what she's been saying every time she's seen me for the past two weeks.

"Do you want me to get you those pills I was talking about? I really think you would benefit from them."

"Okay, if you think they'd help go ahead..." I finally agreeged She smiled, opening her bag and pulling out an orange bottle.

"Are you allowed to keep those in there?" I asked, taking the bottle anyways.

"Shh." She put a finger over her mouth with a slight chuckle, "I wanted to have them handy in case you said yes."

"Side effects?" I questioned, knowing the drill of pills like this.

"You're no stranger to these types of pills I presume?"

"Correct." I nodded.

"Well, pretty standard stuff, you may get tired, dizzy if you overdose, sometimes moody or easily annoyed if you randomly go cold turkey on them."

"Alright." It was all pretty standard, I don't see the harm.

"Okay! Take one in the morning, and one in the evening. Call me if you need a refill. By basic confidentially, I won't tell Noah about them unless asked."

"You can tell him I don't really wanna keep secrets anymore..." I looked down at the ground, the orange bottle fuzzy in my gaze from my wet eyelids.

"Well, then you're all set to go. Tell me if you need anything ever." She stood up, took her purse with her and opened the door.

"I will." I acknowledged.

"Bye-bye, dear." She waved.

"Bye..." I didn't wave back.

So he's really going... I didn't change anything.