//Strip club lights\\ Michael X Noah

~37~ "Therapy"

~POV: Michael~ (This chapter is basically Michael's therapy, so there will be a lot of talking and mentions of Eating disorders and perhaps mental abuse.)
I sat in one of the chairs in Rose's office, tapping my foot up and down to distract my mind from wandering.

Up and down.

Up and down.

Up and down.

"Michael?" Her voice brought me back to the real world.

"Huh?" I looked up, my foot suddenly stopped tapping.

"Ready to start?"

I nodded because there was nothing I could do to get out now, I don't think anybody would allow me to just leave.

"If things get to much for you, we can end the session at any time okay?"

'Okay, Can we end it now?' is what I wanted to say so badly, but instead, I just gave a slow nod and fidgeted with my hands in front of me.

"Okay, well, how long have you been focused on your eating habits?" She held her clipboard in her hand, a pen sat on the table, opened and ready for her to write.

"Uh- well, that depends on what you count as "focused," I never really ate much my entire childhood, but that was mostly because my parents were kind of cheap and didn't really buy much food."

"When did you start intentionally eating less, no matter how much food you had?" She scribbled on a piece of paper, which made me a little anxious to know what she wrote.

"When I started working as a stripper because my boss told me to lose weight, so like- six years ago?" I forgot I hadn't told her I worked as a stripper yet, so for a spilt second, she had a small face of shock before it went back to normal.

"What did your boss say you should do?" She accepted it pretty quickly, quicker than most people.

"Oh- uhm- well he just kind of told me that if I wanna keep my job I have to stay slim, so I started becoming more focused on my weight because I needed money, then it became a habit, I guess I never really shook it."

"If you don't mind me asking, what was your average weight before and after you started working there." She had a small smile.

I thought for a moment, staying silent, "I guess 100 pounds-ish? I never really weighed myself before, but I remember after about two months I went down to 87."

She nodded, I continued, "I went up after I started dating Noah because I guess I just forgot about it for a month or so, I went to 110, then noticed and stopped eating to fall back down to 90." I started shaking my leg once again, looking down at the ground.

"It's really common for someone who works as a stripper to feel body insecurity, as that industry is solely based on how your body looks."

I nodded. I already knew that. I mean, half the girls I worked with were in therapy, and it never worked for them.

I don't know why I think it'll work for me.

"What about your childhood? A lot of EDs start in childhood." I looked up at her.

Don't. You can't talk badly about them, it's disrespectful.

They're dead though.

That doesn't give you an excuse to talk shit about the people who gave you a roof over your head.

You're right...

"I don't wanna talk about that," I mumbled, looking back down.

"Okay, that's alright, my mistake." She smiled, scribbling down in her notebook, it made me stressed and anxious, my knee bobbed up and down, I placed my hand on my thigh, trying to stop it.

"Hey, do you wanna stop? That's completely okay."

I nodded, looking down.

"Okay dear, your pills shipped by the way, don't worry they're pretty standard. Just take two a day, you might have some pretty shitty mood swings the first few times though, be mindful." She smiled, handing me an orange bottle.

"See you next time." 

I nodded and stood up, examining the bottle as I walked out of her room and to Noah's.

When I got in the room he sat on the bed on his phone.

"Hey! You're back!" He smiled, placing his phone down.

I put the pill bottle on the bedside table and crawled into the bed, laying against his side, hiding my face in his arm.

"Are you alright?" He rubbed my back, lifting my head and kissing my cheek.

I just rested my head down and cried softly into his chest.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong darling?" He sat up, I pushed him back down softly, not to hurt him.

"I don't really wanna talk about it anymore, can I just lay on you?" I looked into his eyes, rolling over to sit on his lap, facing him.

"Of course..." He smiled, moving some hair out of my wet face and letting me lay down, my head in the crook of his neck.

"I love you," I muttered, smelling his cologne which pretty much calmed me down in an instant.

"I love you too."