//Strip club lights\\ Michael X Noah

~56~ "Higher dose."

~POV: Michael~ (TW: Antidepressants, talk of drugs/medication.)
I watched closely as Elias walked into the mansion.

First time I've seen him in half a year.

He lives at his own place, and only really comes if Noah has a meeting with him or something, so I'm guessing that's why he's here.

Either way, he's always intrigued me.

I mean, he's the kind of guy who can get you anything, and I mean anything, just have to pay him.

I found that out when I accidentally saw Noah scrolling through his emails between him and Elias, some from over a year ago.

Noah asked for literally anything to be delivered, and Elias found a way.

I always thought he could maybe help me.

You see, the antidepressant dose Rose gives me never seems like enough.

I still feel the same, I still remember all the things I want to forget.

And trust me, I've asked for higher doses, and she always says the same thing: "I don't want to give you too much, they're pretty addictive."

And yeah, fair enough.

But goddammit, if drugs can't fix me what the hell will?

And I just wanna try, I just wanna ask.

Maybe he can get me a higher amount, anything.

He immediately began to go upstairs to Noah's office, but before he could reach the staircase I grabbed his arm and pulled him aside.

"Jesus, what Michael?" He jumped, seeing it was just me he let down his guard, leaning against the wall.

"You're a dealer right?" I tilted my head, looking him up and down and examining him closely before setting my gaze on him and narrowing my eyes.

"Yeah, why you wanna buy drugs?" He laughed, I stayed silent, blinking a few times and not daring to break eye contact.

He saw I wasn't joking and his smile faded, "Oh shit, do you?"

I shrugged, finally breaking the gaze I held at him and looking to make sure no one was watching us, I'd be in shit if someone found out.

"Michael. I'm not getting you drugs, Noah would kill me." He crossed his arms.

"So don't tell him."

"Didn't know you were capable of lying to him. What do you want anyways?"

"Something stronger than the meds I have now, they don't do shit." I reached into my back pocket, pulled the familiar orange bottle of medication out and threw it at him, the remaining pills jangling as he struggled to catch the bottle.

He narrowed his gaze and read the bottle, "Antidepressants? You want something higher?"

"Yeah, every time I take those I don't feel shit." I hissed my words, talking in a tone loud enough for him to hear, careful to not let my sentence echo in the long hallway.

"Just ask like your therapist or something." He threw the bottle back to me, I caught it with ease and slipped it back into my pocket.

"I've tried, she always gives me the same dose, I just wanna feel okay. Please?" I pleaded, crossing my arms and looking down.

"Fine, I'll see what I can get you, what am I getting from it?" He pulled out his phone, and handed it to me, meaning he wanted my number so he could contact me.

"Simple, I won't tell Noah." I entered my number and handed his phone back to him.

"You're into blackmailing, hm?"

"It's an old habit." I shrugged, maybe pleased with myself.

"What if I don't give you the pills? Then you've got nothing to tattle to him. Also, if you tell him won't you get in trouble?"

I sighed, pulling out my phone and showing him I'd been recording, "I'll show him this conversation, obviously cutting out parts that make me look bad."

He tilted his head with a smirk, oddly impressed.

"And the other part is easy, I'm his boyfriend, he'd get mad at me for a few hours, and you'd be in shit, maybe fired."

I love Noah, so much.

And I understand this makes me look really bad.

And I don't feel good about it, trust me.

But I just- I need this.

Badly.

"Gotta say, I like your blackmail, you should be on our team." He pulled a box out of his bag and opened it to me, handing me a plastic bag with about ten pills in it.

"That's what I can get for you, not much, but each one will take you outta your thoughts for a few hours."

God, that sounded like heaven.

"Thanks."

"Don't tell Noah, I'm not trying to get fired right now."

"Not a word out of me."

"Put them somewhere he won't find them, hide them with your regular pills or something. If he finds out, you don't tell him shit about me being involved, or I will cut you off immediately." He crouched down, getting eye level with me since he was taller than me.

I glared, I don't like being talked down to, especially by a drug dealer.

"Understood, any side effects?" I didn't really care if there was, but I wanted to know so I could pretend to be okay.

"Vomiting, fatigue, dizziness, low sex drive, that's about it. Should be easy to hide, except the low sex drive part, knowing Noah." He laughed, staring down at me.

"Shut up or I'll kick you in the shin." I glared, immediately feeling my face turn red.

"Bout the highest place you can reach."

At that moment I kicked him in the knee, so hard he almost fell down.

"Yeah, but I hit hard."

He scoffed and stood up, I smiled, chuckling a little bit as he struggled to walk away.

I stared at the bag of pills, pulling my other bottle out and pouring them in, mixing them together.

I could tell which one was which, but they looked normal to the plain eye.

No going back now I suppose...

( A/N: I'm sorry to those who had requests😭I just had this idea for the plot and I wanted to do it. 
I know there's been a lot of angst lately and please forgive me for that because there's a lot more coming, soo uhhh- please don't hate me 😭 love you allllll!!)