//Strip club lights\\ Michael X Noah

~102~ "Harm."

Warning: This chapter contains heavy detailed indications of Self harm and generally unhealthy behaviour.

If you or someone you know are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself please seek help.

If you are a minor the general kids help line is linked here: https://kidshelpphone.ca/

I personally use the number 741-741 They have actual people waiting to talk you through any feelings you may have.

Remember you are loved, there are people who would miss you and I am one of them, my dms are always open for venting, and that this is a work of fiction, I only ever mean to make this book a safe place, please do not try to recreate anything mentioned in this chapter.

I hope you enjoy reading <3

~POV: Michael~
Two years clean, that seems like so long. I've abused my body in every other way but I still remain two years clean of cutting. My scars are barley noticeable anymore. Here I sit on the bed, Noah was out again, I wasn't really listening to what he was doing, my headache was too bad, probably because I didn't take my pills this morning. I searched through Noah's desk until I found a knife of his, he keeps a knife or two in his desk incase someone breaks in, I know because he always tells me to defend myself with it if I'm in danger. I don't think this is what he intended me to use it for.

Two minutes clean, that's what I am now, with not so clean cuts down from my wrist to my elbow. I dropped the knife and heard it clatter to the floor. "Oh my god.." I whispered, like I had snapped out of some fucked up blank trance. I jumped off the bed and grabbed the knife from the floor, wiping the blood off with my sleeve and placing it back in the drawer. I took my shirt off and threw it in the garbage, putting on a long sleeved hoodie and going to clean up my cuts in the bathroom sink.

I grabbed the bandages from the cabinet and didn't bother with hydrogen in peroxide, I hate that shit. I washed off the blood and kept a cold towel on the cuts until watery blood stopped making the towel red. I then bandaged it up and pulled my sleeve over it, putting the supplies away exactly how I found it. I took a deep breath and slid down to the bathroom tiled floor. Two whole years clean, and it's just gone, I've been trying to hard but I don't take my pills once and I'm right back to where I was years ago like nothing ever happened, like all the therapy and help I got was for nothing if it all goes away the minute I forget fucking antidepressants.

I heard Noah call out that he was back, I wiped away my tears and dried my cheeks with a towel so he wouldn't be able to tell I was crying. "Hi!" I jumped on him the minute I got out of the bathroom, kissing him as he held me up from falling down, "Are you okay?" He cupped my face, dammit, how the hell does he know? I pulled away from him incase he saw my eyes were still puffy or something. I nodded, "Yeah I'm fine." I smiled, placing my hands behind my back, silently biting the inside of my cheek from the slight stinging pain of my arm.

"Can we cuddle?" I grabbed his hand, pulling him to our bed, "Okayokay, I need to change its like a hundred degrees out there. You should change too." He let go and I crawled into bed, shaking my head. "I'm fine." I wasn't, I was sweating so hard, but whatever, I'm fine. I'm fine. I brought my knees to my chest laying down in bed and waiting for Noah to follow me, I needed his cuddles. He took his shirt off and changed into just sweats before finally coming to lay down beside me. I immediately cuddled into his chest, hiding my face because I wasn't sure how long it would be until I started to cry. "It's only like three pm, usually you're not this tired yet." He pet my hair and kissed the top of my head, "I'm not tired, I just want you to hold me." I realized that probably came across really weird to him and I shut up, kissing him before he got the chance to ask any other questions.