//Strip club lights\\ Michael X Noah

~114~ "Mother knows: Nothing."

(TW WARNING!!: This chapter contains unhealthy eating habits and detailed descriptions of throwing up, if that makes you uncomfortable I suggest this isn't the chapter for you <3)

~POV: Michael~
Noah's mother has been here for one day and I'm already losing my mind, let me repeat, one. Day. And she's already made four snarky comments about me.

"You shouldn't be eating to much anyways." She causally responded when I told Rose I wasn't going to eat dinner with all of them tonight, why would I want to eat dinner with her?

"Don't you want to look.. Uhm.. Put together?.." She disapproved when she saw me at 7:00 in the morning wearing shorts and Noah's t-shirt, this is early as fuck for me, I don't like you enough to actually put effort into anything when you're around.

"Your looks aren't impressing anyone anyways.." A follow up comment to the last one, she barely mumbled it.

"Your scars look trashy." Jesus Christ..

But those are just the highlights, I'm sure there will be more to come. God I hate her, every time I imagined her in my brain before this I was like 'she's not that bad' and then I meet her a second time and just looking at her makes me feel like banging my head against the wall until I pass out so I can stay asleep for long enough until she leaves, which is supposedly the end of the weekend. It's Friday now, and I am begging on my knees that Monday comes quickly.

Now I sit at dining room table for dinner, Noah managed to convince me to come and eat. Yeah right, like I'm gonna eat when I feel so fucking watched. I feel like sinking into the floor. My gaze remains down as everyone talks, mostly Noah's mother. Oh, I learned her name was actually Anna, cute name for such a sociopath. Anna was the one who carried most conversation, talking about how her life has been as Rose brought us a literal steak for dinner. Fuck. Now I feel even worse about not eating it, steak is fucking expensive..

I could just...

Eat it and throw it up later? No one will notice anyways.

Yeah..

I picked at my food, still avoiding any means of talking best I could, it didn't help when people kept trying to bring me into the conversation. "How have you been Michael?" Anna asked, I almost glared at her, pff, like she gives a shit. I looked around and saw everyone looking at me, I dropped my fork onto the table. Oh, she just wanted me to feel watched. "Fine.." I mumbled, my heavy accent probably making it impossible for anyone to understand, "Pardon?" She smirked at me, leaning her head on her hand as I wanted to sink into my seat. "I'm fine." I restated, turning my head away from all the eyes, picking at the skin on my fingers under the table. Noah noticed it and grabbed one of my hands, gracing his thumb along the palm of my hand.

I wanted to pull away, being touched right now made me feel kind of suffocated, but I knew it was just another thing I had to ignore and continue eating, as much as my gut feeling was rejecting it all. Despite it, I did finish my food, Rose even gave me a smile when she picked up my plate, I didn't really smile back, I knew it wasn't gonna stay down anyways.

As we all stood up I managed to distance myself from the others, the look I saw from Anna as I was leaving to the bathroom was so- condescending.. Like she knew what I was going to do and she was my fucked up cheerleader encouraging it. I slammed the bathroom door behind me and slid to the floor, breaking down into a sob. Fuck this! Fuck everything! Fuck Anna for suddenly choosing me to be pissed at like there isn't fuckin ' 9 billion other people she could mess up.

Everything lately is overwhelming, nothing just plainly happy seems to be coming my way. I sniffed and crawled over to the toilet, taking a deep breath.

Okay.. I can do this.

I stuck two of my fingers in my mouth until I gagged, I then quickly pulled them out and felt the burn up my throat as I threw up into the toilet, all the "progress" Rose thought I made now out of my system and getting flushed away. I stood up and wiped my mouth with a paper towel, taking another long yet shaky breath. "You're okay, you're okay, you're okay..." I whispered repeatedly to myself, as if it would do anything. Grabbing my tooth brush and starting to brush my teeth with the cold minty tooth paste before I spat it all out into the sink and wiped my mouth once again.

Everything is okay, you're safe..

I walked out of the bathroom and flipped down on the bed, placing an arm over my eyes and sighing. "You okay baby?" Noah walked in, I shrugged, sitting up. He smiled and sat down on the bed next to me, wrapping an arm around me and kissing my head. "Im proud of you for eating.." He whispered, and then all the guilt set in officially, dammit why do I have to feel guilt, life would be so much easier without it. "No, no you're not." I chuckled, using humour as a defence mechanism as always. "Yes I am." He remained serious though, that's when I broke down.

Jesus Christ, you couldn't even last ten minutes?! He didn't even accuse you of anything!

"Hey, hey baby, what's wrong..?" He cupped my face, kissing my forehead, "Did my mother say something?.." Dammit, he's good at guessing. "S-she just said some comments and I- I didn't want to eat but you told me I should- s-so I did and I felt bad- cause' I just couldn't- a-and I threw it up.." I sobbed into his chest, he rubbed my back and shushed me. "Oh my love.. I'm sorry I forced you to try and eat, I should have known you'd be overwhelmed this weekend." He sighed, placing his hand on my thigh and rubbing the skin, I wiped away the tears under my eyes and sniffed, interlocking my fingers with his and looking up at him. "I'm so so proud of you either way, you're doing so well. Can you promise me you'll tell me next time if I'm pushing you? I don't always know what you're feeling, and the last thing I'd ever want to do is make things worse for you.. I love you."

Fuck, where does he get these speeches? Is there a website? Maybe he watched too many hallmark movies as a kid? Nah, his father would kill him.

I kissed him and leaned my forehead against his, he suddenly grabbed me and we rolled over onto the bed. He laid on his back and let me cuddle up to him like he always does. "Hey Noah..?" I don't know what compelled me to suddenly talk about this, maybe just the general feeling of his love. "Hm?" He mumbled, he was quickly replying to a text from Lily, who was asking if I was alright. "I still want a baby.."

A/N: To repeat! This book is not male pregnancy (MPREG) unfortunately :(