Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

Hanging Out

Shuri and Peter were just sitting in the common room, bored out of their minds. Peter then turned to Shuri and said "So I was telling my dad about this guy I met at school, right?"

"Right, okay." Shuri nodded.

"And my dad was like 'you wanna suck his duck or something?' and I was really confused because David didn't own a duck."

"Okay?"

"And then I said 'No dad I wanna suck his dick' and my dad just looked at me and walked away."

"Tony really did that?"

"Yeah dude, it was wild. So I told David about what my dad said the next day at school and he said something about how I'm gay or whatever. Then he just looked really uncomfortable."

"I mean, you did say you wanted to suck his dick."

"What did you want me to say? 'No dad I wanna jerk off to pictures of his eyebrows'. Is that what I should have said?"

"Fucking--Peter--"

"And so David let it slide but he said that if I ever brought up that gay shit again he would fuck me up and I was like 'oh fuck yeah dude'."

"I think you misunderstood him."

"Nah mate I totally understood. And then Ned was like 'Peter you're fucking gross' and I said 'No I'm bisexual'."

"Oh my fucking god."

"And so Ned ignored me for the rest of the day. But it was cool because MJ was totally chill. She said something about 'accepting me for who I am' but I wasn't listening because I was thinking about porn."

"Peter what the fuck."

"David then told me about how he was coming to my house later to hang out and I said 'the only thing that will be coming is you' and then he punched me. But like, it was such a manly punch it totally turned me on."

"Peter what--"

"And so I told my dad that David punched me and he asked if I needed him to take care of David and I said no because I wanted to assert dominance myself."

"Peter, you're totally a bottom."

"And the my dad said that I need to stop and I said 'I'll stop when I cum.' And my dad was really mad."

"Understandable."

"And so that's how I got banned from seeing David ever again."

"Only you Pete, only you."

A/N:

Idk what this is tbh