Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

Hair Shops

Peter, Shuri, Harley, and Miles were sat in the common room. Super duper fucking bored. Miles shot his head up and said. "So, shops for clothes made of human hair."

"Hello, sir?" Shuri said, turning to Harley. "Can I buy a blonde sweater today?"

"Blonde? AYO JOSE! WE GOT ANY BLONDE LEFT?!" Harley yelled.

"WE'RE FRESH OUT!" Peter yelled back. "BUT MAY I INTEREST YOU IN OUT NEW STOCK OF REDHEAD?"

"Why are you yelling? You're standing two feet away from each other?" Shuri asked.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THIS IS MY NATURAL TONE OF VOICE!" Harley screeched. 

"Um, pardon? I'm still waiting on that brunette t-shirt?" Miles chimed in.

"AYO JULIO! WHERE'S THAT BRUNETTE TEE?" Harley yelled.

"I thought my name was Jose?" Peter said, breaking character. Shuri and Miles laughed as Harley put on a stunned expression.

"Oh shit--" Harley also broke character. "AYO JOSE! WHERE'S THAT BRUNETTE TEE?"

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT!"

"WHY WOULD I TAKE CARE OF IT DIPSHIT?! I'M THE FUCKING CASHIER!"

"YOU RIGHT! YOU RIGHT!"

"Um, the blonde sweater?" Shuri said.

"sHUT UP! NO ONE WAS TALKING TO YA!"

"Wow, rude."

"I ESTIMATE A THREE HOUR WAIT!" Harley told Shuri.

"Three hours?!" Shuri exclaimed. "That's an outrageous amount of time!"

"WELL WHAT DO YA WANT ME TO DO?! WE'RE NOT PULLING HAIR OUT OF OUR ASS, WE GOTTA WAIT FOR A NEW SUPPLY OF BLONDE!" Harley yelled.

"What about my brunette t-shirt?" Miles asked.

"JOSE NEEDS TO GET OFF HIS LAZY ASS AND MAKE IT!"

"DON'T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE AND BEAT YOUR ASS UP!" Peter shook a fist in the air. "I'M MAKING THE DRESS! BE CALM!"

"YOUR DRESS WILL BE HERE SOON!" Harley informed Miles.

"I didn't ask for a dress--"

"ALRIGHT! ANYONE ELSE?!"

"What in the actual fuck--" Mr. Morales asked as he, Tony, and T'challa walked in.

"Hello Papa." Miles bowed to his dad.

"What the hell did they do to my son?" Mr. Morales asked Tony and T'challa. They shrugged and walked out.

A/N:

I missed writing these. Debstrika

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