Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

Japanese Snacks

"SHURI!" Peter screamed as he burst into the room. "I just saw this video with the caption 'I love Japanese snacks'."

"So?"

"BUT SHE WAS EATING FUCKING PRETZELS"

"Seriously? No way, you're shitting me right now."

"I shit you not!"

"What the fuck? How retarded do you have to be--"

"I KNOW RIGHT! AND I DIDN'T WANT TO SEEM LIKE I WAS A HATER SO I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!"

"You should've told her that she was a dumb bitch."

"Shuri no--"

"A dumb bitch who doesn't know what a fucking pretzel is."

"Shuri that's rude. We've talked about this!"

"You were literally agreeing that she was retarded a minute ago."

"That's irrelevant to this conversation."

"It was part of this conversation. You're lying to yourself Peter, you're as mean as I am."

"No--"

"Yes, Peter."

"Ok, I'm not going to stay in the lab all night again." Tony mumbled as he passed by them.

"Look, he's lying to himself just like you are."

"SHURI!"

"You're a meanie pants sir."

"Meanie pants?"

"Yes."

"Are you five? 'Oh! You are a meanie pant mister'!"

"Oh pwease stop making fun of me before I give you a sewious case of the ouchies!"

"...did you just threaten me?"

A/N:

True story.