Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

Superpowers

"What if there was a superpower," Harley started, gaining everyone's attention. "That could make it so that anything you draw, becomes real."

"I would draw myself a mansion." Shuri said. Peter shot her a condom. She staggered back and fell over.

"Don't you have a mansion?" Miles asked.

"Yeah, but I'd draw a bigger one." Shuri shrugged on the floor.

"I would draw myself a lover." Peter said.

"Same!" Shuri shot up. "Wait, would I have to draw them naked first, and THEN draw the clothes on top? I don't want someone who's half clothes."

"But I don't want to be drawing a penis." Peter put a hand on his hip. "I can barely draw a spider, what about a penis?"

"Bro, how do you draw a limp dick?" Harley asked. "When I draw them they're always erect."

"He's just always erect." Miles shrugged. "My ideal lover is always erect, down to fuck whenever I want, y'know?"

"What the fuck?" Shuri asked. "Hell yeah, I'm into a guy who's penis is just always out. Down to fuck on the go!"

"DOWN TO FUCK ON THE GO" Peter wheezed.

"I've never drawn a vagina in my entire life." Harley admitted.

"BRO, I'M DRAWING VAGINAS ALL THE TIME!" Miles yelled, earning frantic shushes from the others.

"Miles, I'm pretty sure that's only you." Peter laughed. Harley and Shuri were laughing.

"You're telling me that you've never drawn a vagina?!" Miles exclaimed.

"DUDE, WHY WOULD I DO THAT?!" Shuri exclaimed. "How do you even know what a vagina looks like anyways?!"

"Porn." Miles shrugged. Harley and Peter nodded respectfully.

"Uh, right. But, like, aren't their vaginas always wet in the porn?" Shuri asked.

"So when I draw her she's always wet." Miles shrugged. "Simple."

"Okay but you'd have to draw he boobs." Peter said. "And knowing you, you'd make them unrealistically big."

"I want her to be able to squash me in between her boobs." Miles said.

"What the fuck?! That's the standard?!" Harley asked, laughing.

"Wait, I just realized." Miles said. "You're telling me, that you guys have never drawn vaginas,"

"Oh my god." Peter facepalmed.

"But you've drawn dicks?! What?!" Miles yelled.

"Drawing vaginas makes everyone uncomfortable." Harley shook his head. "And drawing a penis is way faster."

"I don't want to draw pube hairs." Shuri shook her head.

"But Shuri, you can look at your own vagina for reference!" Miles protested. "It's a perfect opportunity! I have to search up reference photos!"

"Is your search history porn and reference photos of vaginas?" Peter asked.

"No!" Miles exclaimed. "There's also a download of Black Butler."

"Bro, it was anything you draw, right?" Peter asked. "Does that mean that if you were sketching, it'd come to life?"

"LIKE THAT ONE EPISODE OF SPONGEBOB!" Shuri exclaimed.

"What if you were taking notes? Would the notes come to life?" Miles asked.

"This seems very flawed. Does that mean you'd have to use a computer all the time?" Peter asked. "That doesn't sound that bad."

"Yeah but imagine you're trying to draw a comic, right?" Shuri said. "And you use a drawing tablet and everything is going smoothly. Then, all of a sudden, the comic comes to life. What do you do then?"

"Like, the entirety of the comic?" Harley asked. "Like the backgrounds and shit?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." Shuri nodded. "And then the villain is all like 'I'm evil and I'm going to dest--I'll destroy the world cause I'm evil like that', y'know?"

"I would beat the shit out of that villain." Peter said.

"In classic Peter Parker fashion." Miles commented.

"Shut up!" Peter threw a nearby pillow at him.

"I'd question his values." Harley said. "Like, why you wanna destroy everything bro? You must be deeply troubled."

"Harley just turns into a therapist." Shuri said.

"Bro, I'll talk the villain out of it." Harley shrugged. "And if he refuses to listen, then fuck him up."

"Wow, that took a turn." Miles snickered.

"I'm unpredictable like that." Harley winked.

A/N:

666 words. That's all I have to say.

*

Dominic: I've always wanted to be an explorer, y'know?

Susie: Right, totally.

Dominic: Travel the world, try all the exotic cuisine.

Susie: Where would you go first?

Dominic: Hmm, maybe Africa?

Susie: Africa?

Dominic: Yeah, I want to learn about their culture.