Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

Discord Hours

Peter, Harley, Miles, and Shuri were on discord, since Shuri had to fly out to Wakanda for 'important royal buisness'

"So, in conclusion, I'd be pretty fuckable if I was a girl." Miles shrugged.

"I zoned out...like ten minutes ago." Harley said.

"I started talking ten minutes ago."

"Exactly."

Peter and Shuri just listened in silence, not having anything to add to this discussion.

Shuri glanced down at the chat, they preferred to talk over it instead of type, so it was fairly unused.

Shuriken: uwu

Peter rose a brow, ignoring Miles and Harley who were engaged in an intense debate about how Harley never listened.

Peter Piper: OwO

Shuriken: *nuzzles you*

Peter Piper: *purs*

Peter Piper: *pets your ear*

Shuriken: *moans*

Shuriken: *cuddles you*

Peter Piper: *snuggles*

Peter Piper: uwu

Shuriken: *unzips pants*

Peter Piper: *sucks your hard dick*

Peter Piper: u like that big boy?

Shuriken: *moans sensually*

Peter Piper: *gets naked*

Shuriken: *gropes your boobs*

Peter Piper: *purs*

Shuriken: *holds arms open for hug*

Peter Piper: *hugs you*

Shuriken: *pulls out knife*

Shuriken: *stabs you in back*

Peter Piper: *dies*

Shuriken: *attends your funeral, your cats are meowing in perfect harmony a lovely rendition of Amazing Grace. It's cloudy, but not raining. Not yet. I look into your casket, an open casket and per my request. "Rest well, my friend" I say, looking at your peaceful face. You don't hear it, you're dead. I watch as you're lowered into the ground, and smirk in satisfaction*

Shuriken: *nae nae's on your grave*

Peter Piper: ...

Peter Piper: how do i follow that-

"--so I don't see why naked babies are so revolting to you!" Miles slammed his hands on his desk. Shuri and Peter jumped, looking up from the chat.

"It's borderline pedophilia, Miles!" Harley screamed.

"Woah--wait--how did we get here--" Peter stammered.

A/N:

Typing the phrase "sucks your hard dick" is about as uncomfortable as you'd think.

1 AM gang where yall at 👊

*

Darius: I'm hungry.

Kian: then fucking eat

Darius: I don't wanna.

Kian: then fucking starve. See if I care.