Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

Cow Stds

Peter tapped danced into the common room, causing everyone to look in his direction. "I'm here to deliver a message."

"Okay?" Tony said, laughing slightly. Shuri then slid in with a guitar. She started playing.

"I'm here to tell a story." Peter said in the most serious voice you had ever heard. Harley then walked in and started singing.

"Oh yeah~"

"One day, while I was walking along town."

"Mmm yeah~"

"I spotted this cow."

"Baby oh~"

"This was the most beautiful cow I had ever seen. I soon discovered that this wasn't any ordinary cow."

"Not an ordinary cow, no~"

"This cow could talk. And the cow said to me..."

Shuri then started singing. "I am the cow of you dreams~! I've been sent here to...pleasure you~"

"What is this?" Bruce asked Tony, who shrugged.

"What I didn't know, was that this was a prostitute cow!"

"What is it with Peter and prostitutes~?" Harley sang.

"So I soon discovered that this cow was fuckable."

"A fuckable cow~"

"So I did the reasonable thing and fucked the cow."

"Mmm, yeah~"

"And that's the story of how I got cow stds."

"Beware of prostitute cows~!" All three sang. "They all carry cow stds~!"

"What was the point of this?" Tony asked.

"Well I saw this thing where you and Loki got together and I wanted to warn you." Peter said.

Thor gave a long wheeze.

A/N:

I'm sorry about this.