Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

The Weirdest Fight in History

Okay, what the fuck was going on?

Flash was currently watching Spiderman fight a new baddy that was in town. Not anything particular weird, right? Wrong. Spiderman was wearing a sombrero for some reason.

Another weird thing was that they weren't fighting physically. It was sorta like a debate. No offense to Spiderman, but he isn't exactly known for solving problems with words.

Even though there was no fighting happening, there was fire everywhere. Flash didn't know how, but it just ended up that way.

Another thing Flash was confused about was how he ended up here. There was no one else, just him, Spidey, and the villain.

Another explosion happened next to Flash and he jumped. "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

To make this matter weirder, the debate made no sense whatsoever.

"Pickles are indeed a cupcake."

"Fool, jelly is the solution to pizza."

"Defeat is but only my pinky toe."

"Hardware is what every shoelace requires."

Flash was confused. How did he end up in this situation. "Uh, what--" Flash tried to ask.

"SHUT YOUR LITTLE DOLL UP!" The villain yelled pointing at Flash.

"GREGARIOUS ASTRONAUT WHO ARE NOT A LADY!" Spidey yelled back. The villain seemed angered by this answer.

"Harem boy is but only a straight black female. Pain is a penis. A bowling ball yells bananas...gothic chihuahua." The villain growled out. Spidey gasped. "Flowers come in pairs of nuts, snow down the burning basketball hoop?"

"Jello finds a way!" Spidey yelled. "Best milk is a mop!"

The villain laughed. "Shameful acts of dirty dishonor."

"Whip the shiny slice of cheese?" Spidey crossed his arms and glared.

"Freedom to the popcorn ratchet band." The villain smirk as Spidey gasped. "Recognizable pair of dildos?"

"I'm so lost..." Flash mumbled to himself.

Little did Flash know that he was under a spell cast by the villain. Everything they said sounded like nonsense to him, and everything he said sounded like nonsense to them. The conversation they were actually having was no laughing matter. The sombrero was actually being used to hide the top part of Peter's mask, that had been ripped off.

"Bees suck the taco shells of the heart." Spidey growled.

"Boobs of fright." The villain shrugged. "Car is a lot more chill."

Spidey raises his fist up like he was about to hit the villain.

"Verona. What a stupid conference of my head." The villain smirked. "Evil lungs of money." The villain turned their hand into a fist and Flash felt like he was choking. Spidey lowered his fist and glared. The villain stopped and Flash could breathe again. Spidey looked at Flash.

"Zebras to the power of fuckboy." Spidey said to him. Flash nodded, acting like he understood.

Suddenly Iron Man flew in and gestured for Flash to not draw attention to his appearance.

"Tracking of the frankfurter." Spidey said as he held his hands up in surrender. "An armed monkey."

"Excellent opportunity for hair." The villain smirked.

Spidey brought his hands up like he was about to take off his mask. Flash gasped. Right as his hand reached the mask, Spidey said. "SKELETON!"

At that moment Tony blasted the villain and he dropped to the floor, dead. "Are you okay?" Tony asked Spidey.

"Thank you so much! I didn't know if I would've been able to get out of there alive." Spidey sighed in relief. Flash blinked. He could understand now?

So Flash went home, questioning what the hell just happened.

A/N:

I would translate but that would take too long.

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