Chapter 121

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A half hour passed by in a blink, the shrine of wrappers in the center of all of us has grown to a mountainous proportion. I'm pretty sure Carl could hide under it if he curled up.

The wrapper in my hands made a symphony of crinkles as I folded it for the thousandth time. If we had needle & thread, we could probably stitch all these together into an emergency blanket.

I shifted, readjusting my calves where they're resting over Daryl's legs — don't ask, cause I couldn't tell you how or when it happened if I wanted to — but now that I'm practically in a sugar coma, I tossed the wrapper into the pile, to be with it's people.

My hand dropped back onto my stomach a little harder than I wanted and sent a sharp twinge through my gut. Now this is the freaky part. I barely moved — like it could easily have been mistaken for just breathing, and Daryl still looked at me.

And he didn't look away even after he scanned me. I raised my eyebrows at him and I'm in trouble. It looks like he's starting to see past that. I'm gonna have to figure out a new art of deflection.

I turned my eyes over to one of the little candles near my head, just watching the flame flicker.

Is it just me or is he becoming like... hyper aware of what I do?

I don't know what's going on, but it's starting to make me just a little concerned. It feels like he knows something I don't. Like he's waiting for something to happen.

I mean, I know I'm not exactly the poster child for 'better safe than sorry' but I'm not that reckless.

Am I?

Tingles suddenly sprouted in my forehead right before I was poked and my eyes crossed watching the finger retract. I looked past it to Glenn's warmly-lit face.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?"

"My mouth taste like chocolate and Cheeto dust and I can't decide if I like it or not." I smacked my lips.

A snort erupted on the other side of our wrapper bonfire, sounding suspiciously like a young boy, followed by the hearty snickers of adults.

"You should be asleep." Lori — surprisingly — scolded from directly opposite of me. I honestly thought Daryl was gonna do that. Again.

"I'm not tired." I turned my head into the floor.

Lori chuckled, glancing at Carol for some reason but no one else seems to understand either. So I'm going to assume it's a mother thing.

"Eve..." I looked up at Glenn just above my head where he sits next to Maggie. "You're talking. So either you're drunk, or you're tired."

"And we know you ain't drunk." T-Dog chuckled like he's remembering something funny.

"Or she's had too much sugar." Carol commented from next to him, down by Daryl's feet.

You saying I'm high?

Oh man, what I wouldn't give to be high right now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a tweaker — nor have I ever been, but it sure would make the healing process more pleasant.

Speaking of which, my back and a whole lot of other places are starting to burn, and ache. I need to sit up.

I started to put my elbows underneath me and almost immediately Glenn was behind me, "Hey hey — be careful."

I tried not to hiss as he pushed on my back until I was sitting up but once I was up, my eyebrows knit and I poked my tongue into my cheek.

Is it just me... or is everyone paying an unusual amount of attention to me today? Like waaaaay more than normal.

I looked around the circle, starting with Glenn on my left, Maggie to his, Carl next to her on the corner, Lori next to him directly across from me, Beth next to her, Hershel in a chair behind her and Rick next to him, T-Dog next to Beth and Carol next to him, then finally Daryl next to me, and Randall just above/behind me (at my 5 o'clockish), sitting on the table/windowsill keeping an eye outside. And at least 4 of them were already looking at me when my gaze got to them.

People are watching me. It's weird.

I don't like it.

I shifted, scooting a little closer to Daryl and nudged him with my elbow.

He looked at me and I turned my head towards him as I leaned closer to mumble, "Why's everyone watching me?"

"What?" His face scrunched and I flicked my eyes towards the corner. He looked back at everyone and I watched his eyes moving around a bit — god his eyes are really blue right now. I don't know if it's the lighting or because he isn't scowling or what, but they usually look a little darker than this.

It makes me want a camera with a macro lense. Or like a polaroid or something. Hmm, I wonder if there are any of those left that'll still work? I mean obviously there are probably still cameras that'll work, but how long will it be before the film expires. Does film have an expiration date? I think it does — but, wait— wait a sec... What was I doing again?

"Maybe if ya stop hurtin' yerself no one would look at ya."

I opened my mouth and found it closing a second later and leaned back against the wall, my shoulder resting just behind his.

Fine fine. I concede this one. But it's too easy to get hurt these days.

I sighed. It's too easy to get hurt and we don't have hardly any ways to prevent it. The world used to be full of safety nets. Like seatbelts & air bags, Emergency rooms & ambulances, people to call for help, warning labels, fire extinguishers, hard-hats, bullet proof vests, you name it.

There were all kinds of backup plans to stop and/or minimize the damage of dangers.

We don't have anything like that anymore. I mean we do, physically. All that stuff is still out there in the world but we don't have any safety measures whatsoever for walkers and the straight up outdoors.

If only there was a manual for this. I smiled in amusement to myself. If there was a manual for these...things...

I blinked.

I'm a dumbass.

I am honestly, truly, the biggest dumbass left in the whole of the world.

I stared at the top of the bookshelf on the farthest side of the room, nearest to the stairs.

A cozy little green sign sitting on top of it with a nice white trim border, and in the biggest easiest to read letters ever — even in this lighting — it reads: 'Nature & Animals'.

The shelf two down from it? 'Guides & Manuals'

"If only there was a manual for this" I mocked myself. 'I'm sitting in a go ram library!'

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