Sneaky

Chapter 124

Eve's POV

"A panic attack?" Carl's eyebrows furrowed.

I nodded, tearing the candy bar in half and giving him half of the sugary treat.

Professor Lupin was right. Chocolate makes you feel better.

"You know what a panic attack is, kid?" Daryl took the piece of chocolate I broke off from mine and tossed it in his mouth, bumping my shoulder with his as he pulled his knee up to rest his arm over it.

Carl's face scrunched. "Sort of. My dad said it was like being scared all the time for no reason."

My eyebrows knit before I opened my mouth and at the same time Daryl and I both said, "Not exactly."

We looked at each other.

"That's more like an anxiety disorder. A panic attack is like..." I bit my lips, thinking how best to explain this in a way he can understand.

"Ah, it's like that moment when you first see a walker. When your mind starts racing and you get scared. Only you can't stop it."

"You can't?" His eyebrows dipped down in confusion, glancing between me and Daryl. "But Daryl did."

I shook my head. "You can't stop it. You just have to wait for it to pass."

His face fell. "You can't do anything?"

I gave him a tight smile. "You can help the symptoms. They're fast though, even if it feels like it'll go on forever. They only last 10-15 minutes at most."

"Why?" Part of me is glad he's so curious, and part of me doesn't wanna talk about this anymore. But I can't leave it as is, not when a 10 year old is looking at me so concerned.

"Do you know what a flight or fight response is?"

He nodded, brown bangs shaking on his forehead. "It's that thing that tells you to run when you're scared."

"Or fight when yer in trouble." Daryl added, chewing the inside of his lip as he listens, and subtly shifted a little closer to me. I think he can tell I'm not too keen on talking about this so soon after an attack. I'm not shaky anymore but it's still just a bit too soon for comfort.

I nodded, grateful this kid's a bright one so I don't have to be too... specific with the detail. "The flight or fight response tells your body when to defend yourself. A panic attack is it triggering when there's no real danger."

"No real danger?"

I hummed, "Like when you remember something that really scared you."

"Or if you have a nightmare...?"

I nodded. "There's also things called triggers, like if you see something that reminds you of something scary that happened. Or it could be just thinking about it too much, or dwelling on things. Sometimes you might not even know what the trigger was."

"Wait, does that mean it can happen any time?" His eyes widened in alarm.

"For some people, yes. But not everyone."

"What about you?" He shuffled, gripping the end of his shirt; which I don't think he even realizes he's doing. "Are yours random?"

I shook my head, chewing my lip. My mouth dried out and I swallowed, glancing down for a second, then at Daryl. "Mine aren't like that."

"Then... why do you have panic attacks?"

I never thought I'd have to have this conversation without having been the one to bring it up myself.