Afraid || Sirius Black [1]

71

It was the middle of the night and Sirius awoke to Madison poking him. He groggily sat up and brushed the hair out of his face. It had been a week of school and the group had received a lot of homework that they couldn't spend as much time together as they wanted to. To wake up and see his girlfriend wanting to cuddle with him, Sirius couldn't help but smile. "Are you okay?" He asked, pulling covers back and allowing her to slip in beside him.

She nodded, "I just wanted a cuddle because I couldn't sleep." Sirius pressed his lips to her forehead and wrapped his arm over her waist as they laid down. They didn't speak for a few moments before the girl looked down slightly. "Have you noticed how many people haven't come back? And I don't mean the seventh years, so many people from out year haven't come back."

"I know, Maddie, I know. It's horrible but it's life, baby. Not a great one but it's out of our control, whilst we are in school anyway." Sirius mumbled, trying to keep his voice low so that he didn't wake the rest of the boys up. "Just promise me, if anything happens, even if you're threatened, do not go with You- Know-Who, you talk to me or one of the others if someone approaches you. They're trying to get pure bloods."

"What about you? Your-"

"They will not get me. I swear to you, on my life, that I will not go to that side. I would never do it, I promise you. Now please, Maddie, promise me you won't."

"I swear on my life."

* * *

The owls came swooping into the hall dropping letters and parcels to the respected owners. A letter dropped down into Madison's hand, fancy handwriting on the front. "Who is that from?" Peter asked biting into a sausage on his fork.

Madison recognised the handwriting straight away, "Ansel, I have been exchanging letters with him and the other boys." She stated and tore open the seal. She pulled out the parchment and read over the letter. Her hand instantly cover her mouth as her eyes glossed over.

"Maddie?" Asked Remus. "Maddie what's wrong?"

Sirius stares at his girlfriend, confused. "Baby?"

"That's just gross." James stated but shut up when Lily slapped him in the stomach very hard.

"Eddie-E-Edvardus-"She stuttered. All of the colour had drained from her face and she was clutching the parchment like her life depended on it.

"What about him?" Asked Lily, softly, leaning towards her friend. "Is he sick?"

She shook her head, "He's dead."

The group fell silent. Sirius held onto Madison, his head on her shoulder, his hands resting on her waist, thumbs rubbing up and down soothingly. "How?" Whispered Mary.

"He k-killed himself." Said Maddie, her voice was weak and quiet. "He loved him. So much. He wrote it in a letter. Explaining it to the others, he couldn't live without him."

"Who? Who did he love?" Asked Frank.

Alice hit him up the back of the head for his stupidity. "Mattei, obviously." She hissed at him.

"If you need to cry, do it." Sirius muttered into her ear.

Madison once agin shook her head. As much as she was sad, crying didn't seem to be the way forward. Her body didn't want to cry. She didn't know him all that well but then again, she was still affected by his death. "I...um...I need to reply to Ansel." The hi jumped up, neglecting her breakfast and exited the great hall, a few students staring at her confused.

"Shouldn't you go after her?"Asked Evangeline who looked at Sirius expectantly.

"Surely she'll need space-"

"I'll go, Remus, you come too." Said Lily. "Sirius, stay here." The boy didn't argue, Lily and Remus probably knew her best.

The pair chased after Madison leaving Sirius to sigh. "Fuck this fucking world."

James patted him on the shoulder, "it'll be over one day. Just promise me all of you, if anything is to happen to any of us, none of us will do what Edvardus has done. I get that love can make you do crazy things, but I can't bare to think of any of you committing suicide. Times are worsening, and what Edvardus probably didn't think of was that, Mattei's death and affected them all, but now Ansel, Gabriel and Theodore have all got to live with another friend of theirs being dead. So if one us dies, no matter who it is, we don't purposely join them."

"Promise." They all said.

Sirius dipped his head into the crook of James' neck and wrapped his arms around him, "promise me you won't either, Prongs, please." He said.

"I promise, Padfoot, I promise you, forever and always. That I shall not die until I have no choice in the matter." He replied, his arms holding his best friend.

"Prongs, if I go. Look after her, and Moony, Wormy, all of them. Especially those three."

"You won't 'go', Pads, but I will. If it happens, which I won't. I will." He nodded. Sirius pulled James up and led him out of the hall into a tunnel not far from it, leaving the rest of the group even more confused. "Pads?"

"There'll be a time, and it'll probably soon, I will be asked to join You-Know-Who. It's inevitable, I may have been disowned but that doesn't mean I won't be approached. If I refused, which I will, I will probably be killed. I promised Maddie, I won't go to them, so I will be dead. I don't want her or any of you to be the way she was when Johnson died. She's a flower, fragile and easily broken, Prongs, make sure she's happy. Make sure she gets a husband, has kids and dies happy."

"Mate, you're talking like you love her." James stated. Tears were forming in his eyes, he didn't like the talk of death, no one did really, but hearing Sirius talking the way he was, it was way worse. "D-do you love, Leo?"

"I don't know..."Sirius sighed, "I really don't, but I know I want her to be happy no matter what the circumstances. No! Love is not...James..."He mumbled.

"Yes?"

"I-I am in l-lo-love... with Maddie."

James grinned, "What's wrong with that?"

"It's too soon."

James slapped his head, "No it's not. There isn't a set time limit for when you can and can't live someone. You are young, but you are not dumb, mate. You have never felt this way about a girl before. I know that for sure. If you think you're feeling like that go Maddie, then it must be true. Sirius you don't love easily, that's your upbringings fault, but this is love. Embrace it."

"I. Am. In. Love. With. Madison. Parker."