Afraid || Sirius Black [1]

123

"So you'll definitely be there, right?"

Lily was visiting Madison a few days later, a common occurrence - one friend visits the girl at a time- a clear sign that Madison had royally fucked up- BIG TIME. James, however, never visited her which Madison somewhat understood. Sirius is his brother. The brother she had hurt.

Madison sighed, "Look, I don't think that's such a good idea, Lils."

Lily shook her head, "but you have to be! You're my best friend! Maddie, I don't want to get married if you're not there, you're the sister I always wished for. If Petunia and her lump of a husband are not going to be there then at least you should be. I'll make sure you're not anywhere near Sirius or Marlene for that matter. Please, Maddie." Lily took her friends' hands in hers, used her best puppy dog eyes and even jutted out her bottom lip.

"I can't, Lils, Pro- James wouldn't want me there. Not after what I have done. I'm sorry."

"You broke up with Sirius! You didn't skin the bloke alive! Maddie, it's just as much his wedding as it is mine. He wants to invite Orlando Ricard, that first year and I don't particularly want some random kid I don't know there but I'll let him because James wants him there! So he'll have to lump it if you are, after all, you are still our baby's godmother!"

Madison took her hands out of Lily's shaking her head softly. "I'm sorry, I just can't and I can't be the godmother. Not now. I'm sorry, Lily."

Lily gasped, her eyes pricked with tears as her hands began to shake. Not only had she lost her sister earlier on, but she had now lost her best friend. She rushed out of Madison's bedroom and exited the house. Madison didn't want to miss it, she would love to see her friends get married and she would love to be the godmother of their child but after she had messed everything up, this was for the best.

She collapsed back on her bed, her arm resting above her head as she took slow deep breaths like she was about to pass out. Why was she the one that would bring trouble to everything and everyone?

It couldn't have been ten minutes since Lily left Madison alone in the girls' when Madison's door burst open and an angry James stood there. Madison felt a weight on her chest, it was the look he gave her way back in her dreams during first through to fifth year at Hogwarts. Madison was waiting for anything to happen. For him to slap her. Shout at her. Curse her. Anything. And she would sit there and take it. Because that's what she deserved for being a downright bitch.

"You're coming to the wedding. You're being the godmother and I don't care what you say." James stated, his face softening into his familiar caring self, with gentle eyes that emitted kindness.

Madison shook her head, "I've already said I can't."

"Yes you can. I've just had a crying Lily rush into my arms because her best friend just broke her heart. Don't you think you've broken enough hearts around here? Leo, I don't hate you, I know you think I do, but I don't. I hate the fact you broke up with Padfoot but I will have to get over it. You're my sister. No way are you missing our wedding unless you drop down dead because you will be there, even if you're in a bloody coma, you'll be there. Now come here and give me your side to everything. Pads is a drama queen." He outstretched his arms and rushed towards Madison engulfing her into a big, warm hug.

"I didn't want to hurt him. Not at all but I can't help my feelings," Madison muttered looking down at her legs.

James pushed up his glasses to the bridge of his nose. "And what are they?"

"I like Marlene. But I am in love with Sirius."

James sighed, "that's quite a predicament."

"Exactly. I don't want Sirius hurt and I don't want to hurt Marlene either so I decided to not have either because that way it wouldn't happen to either of them but..."

"You've done something with Marlene? Look, you can't help your feelings Leo and if I'm honest I think you've done the right thing. Now that I have heard your side and not the exaggerated, 'I'm dying Prongs! She has ripped my heart in two because I was not good enough' spill from Padfoot, I understand. I don't like it but I think you did the right thing. However, by suppressing your feelings it's only going to increase them. You'll have withdrawal symptoms. After all, you and Pads were amazing and you didn't have the most pure of relationships. So there is no wonder why suddenly you end up with Marlene between the sheets."

Madison nodded, "Are you going to tell him?"

"No. And neither should you because not only will he be angry with you but with Marlene and we don't want that. So play it off like nothing has happened. Explain to Marlene that and everything should be fine. But, Maddie?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a twat you know that?"

"Very much so. I wish I could just rip out my feelings and drown them in the fucking toilet because this is shit!"

James sent her a supportive smile offering her a small snigger, "I don't doubt that at all... actually answer me this, when you and Marlene, you know, did you feel anything?"

"Yes."

"And when you have fucked my brother, did you feel the same?"

"No."

"No?"

"It felt better."

James nodded, "so doesn't that tell you something? Maybe this Marlene crush is just a faze? Not that I think your bisexuality is because that most certainly isn't, but perhaps your feelings to Marlene?"

Madison shrugged, "I don't know, Prongs, but for now I'm going to work my arse off to not make things worse for any of us."

"Don't hurt yourself though, Leo, you may think this is for the best but if it hurts you. You might just have to let it happen. I don't want you in pain, not if you're going to be at our wedding and be the godmother? Our baby needs you. Lily needs you. I need you. Okay?"

"Okay."