Afraid || Sirius Black [1]

90

"Only you two would lead the school, whilst shirtless, in singing and dancing." Laughed Remus as the group lounged around in the common after he and Lily had returned from prefect duties.

Sirius and James smirked at each other, proud of what they had done.

"This place needed to lighten up and bit." Shrugged James, "it's all doom and gloom nowadays. We have to live while we're young, we don't know what will happen once we leave this place."

"As long as we stick together, we'll be fine." Said Frank, who held Alice close to his chest.

"It's scary thinking, once this year is over, we only have one year left. It doesn't feel like six years does it?" Commented Lily, "It's all gone rather quickly."

Madison held her friend in her arms, "Yeah, but this is only one adventure in our lives. After Hogwarts we have the whole world to conquer and I don't know about you guys, but I'd love to do it all with you."

Lily leaned her head on Madison's shoulder hugging her waist. "We'd rule this world like it's nobody's business!"

The group laughed as Sirius and James jumped up with their hands on their hips.

"We'll stop this war. That Dark Lord won't know what's happening when we go after him." Sirius said and Madison looked at him sadly.

Lily could sense her friend's sadness and looked up. "You know he just means it metaphorically, he and James are not literally going to go after him. They want to be aurors so they'll be helping put a stop to him."

"I know," Whispered Madison, "I just don't want him getting hurt."

Lily nodded and held her friend tighter. "He'll be okay. You know he will."

* * *

In the midst of the night, Lily awoke hearing whimpers and sobs from the bed beside her. She shot up and rolled off of her bed, padding over to the bed and crouching down so that she was face to face with the sobbing girl. Wiping the hair out of her faces, and the tears from her cheek, Lily waited until the girl calmed down before stirring her awake.

"Maddie?" She asked the girl, whose eyes opened slowly and tears still fell. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry." She sobbed, not to Lily but to her dream that she had left.

Lily ran her fingers through the brunette waves and soothing caressed her cheek. "Why are you sorry? Maddie?"

"I couldn't save you." The girl said again and Lily still knew she wasn't talking to her. "Mattei, I'm so sorry. I should have stopped you before you climbed in. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I should have tried to work things out rather than letting you stalk off angrily at the ball. I should have asked what's wrong with you and why you didn't like Remus. Maybe then we could have worked it out. I'm sorry. Please, I'm so sorry."

Madison reached up and hugged Lily, "I'm sorry, Mattei, I really am."

Lily held Madison to her chest despite Madison seeing her as Mattei in that moment. She assumed it was her dream toying with her mind making her see the boy when really it was Lily and not Mattei.

Marlene woke up, hearing the girl sobbing into Lily. "What's going on?" Asked the blonde.

"She's dreaming about Mattei. She thinks I'm Mattei." Lily told her and Marlene jumped up, pulling a shirt on and joining the pair to help.

"Maddie?" Asked Marlene, placing a hand in her back.

Madison looked up her dark eyes, glistening with tears, widened at the sight of Marlene. Her hand reached up and gently pressed onto her cheek.

"Edvardus?" She asked quietly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't save him. I really am. Y-you loved him. I'm so sorry."

Marlene looked at Lily in confusion who nodded her head motioning for her to hold Madison in her arms as a way of comforting her.

They weren't going to play along. That was a horrible thing to do. Instead, they held their friend in silence, letting her get everything off of her chest. She cried so much that she passed out a little while later and they gently laid her back down in the bed.

"She still blames herself. She still thinks she could have done something." Muttered Lily, he and Marlene sitting on the floor.

"Should we tell Sirius?" Marlene asked her.

Lily shook her head, "no, not right now. Let's leave her to sleep and when she wakes up properly, we'll talk to her. Maybe she doesn't want anyone to know."

Marlene nodded. "Lily, I know this sounds awful but I think she needs help. It's clear from how she has been acting lately that she isn't okay, I hugged her and she stiffened up yesterday. Then, she seemed so down after you came back from prefect rounds. I-I think she has something wrong with her. That's sounds mean but I think she's hiding something major from us, and possibly even Sirius. I don't think she has been coping with the death of Mattei and even Edvardus who she didn't know all that well. I think she has been saying she is but she isn't."

Lily stayed silent for a short moment. She played over the past year in her mind and an expression of realisation rose on her face. "I think you're right. Maybe we shouldn't keep it quiet. We need to talk to Sirius."

"Now?"

"No, in the morning. Right now, we need to make sure she is okay for the rest of the night. I'm staying up, I don't care how tired I am in the morning. I want to make sure she is okay."

"I'll join you."

"Are you sure?"

"I'd do anything to make sure Maddie is okay, she's my friend. Of course, I'll stay up."