Afraid || Sirius Black [1]

104

During the day, Madison was cold and decided to head back to her dormitory and grab a hoodie to slip on beneath her robes whilst everyone else headed out to the lake for their free period. She was just heading along the fourth-floor corridor when she felt a hand grasp her shoulder and pull her down an attached corridor.

She was pushed into a classroom and the door was locked. Se stared in both shock and confusion at the boy who had locked her and himself in. For once she watched him sit down on a table and hold his head in his hands.

"Why did you push me in here?" She asked him confidently not feeling afraid of him, despite all he has done to her in the past. Regulus Black looked up at her in shock upon hearing her speak so calm and collected.

Brushing his long curls out of his face he sat up and watched as she sat on a table in front of him. "I want to talk to you." He said to her, his voice quiet as if he was afraid of anyone hearing.

Madison looked at him in surprise, she couldn't tell if he was being sincere, because, unlike Sirius who she could read like a book, Regulus was more closed off and his eyes were a darker grey to Sirius' hung with bags which stood out against his scarily pale skin, much paler than hers.

"Is this a prank? Are Avery, Mulciber and Snape going to storm in?" She asked him looking at the doorknob as if she was waiting for it to turn and the door to burst open.

"No." He answered shortly, "They do not know what I am doing or where I am."

Regulus stood up and started to pace the room, stopping at the window and staring out of it, watching his brother chase James across the grounds. A small smile cracked on his face, it was small, barely noticeable, but it was there. He watched the broad grin spread across Sirius' face and his bark-like laughter tumbling from his lips as he ran after his best friend.

"You're so good to him," Regulus said after some time of silence. "To Sirius, that is. I would never have thought he would settle with just one girl, but I suppose most people didn't think of it happening either. Especially not with a girl like you. You're smart, quiet, brave, pretty. you have influenced him, in a good way, of course. I'm glad you make him happy. You, James, Remus, Peter. You all make him happy and I am so grateful that you do.

I don't know if he has told you this but, when we were younger, my family, they all new Sirius was different. He would question everything our parents said and he would just act differently to everyone. I wanted to. I really did. I wanted to be like Sirius so much, my big brother, he used to protect me.

I dropped a plate once, I must have been six or seven, my mother went ballistic. Sirius jumped in front of me and took the blame. I watched as my father ripped off his belt and whipped him with it. I watched as my mother screamed at him. I watched and Sirius cried out in pain, but not once did he crack and say it was me.

He protected me a lot. That's what made me want to be like him. I wanted to be a carbon copy of him. There was one thing I lacked. Courage. Sirius had, and still has, the courage and bravery to stick up for himself and others. It's probably the reason he got sorted into Gryffindor and I was in Slytherin.

I still wanted him to be my big brother. I wanted to be able to sneak into his bed when our parents argued, or I had a bad dream. I wanted him to hold me and tell me things were going to be all right. That I won't get hurt. I wanted to play chess and exploding snap with him. To hear about his experiences at Hogwarts and his new friends. But, as soon as one of our cousins sent our mother a letter of what house Sirius got into. I wasn't allowed and I was too coward to go against them. I was scared of getting hurt like Sirius if I went against my family. I am just a coward.

I am a cowardly sheep. I follow Avery, Mulciber and Snape around like a sheep. I do what they tell me to do because if I don't I will get hurt. So instead, I hurt others. I hurt you." He glanced over at the brunette girl who still sat on the desk watching him. His eyes glittered in the daylight and it was then that Madison could tell that he was trying not to cry.

He slowly stepped towards her, and reached out to her arms, carefully tugging up her sleeves and tracing his thumb across her scars. "I am so sorry, Madison, I know that you will never be able to forgive me for what I have done. This is permanent, I have given you a life-long scar. I am so sorry. I didn't want to do that to you. I didn't want to do anything that I did to you. I was just scared. I know you know what it feels like to be scared. You were scared of my brother but now you aren't. I can tell that you are scared of me. I do not and can't blame you."

"Regulus-" Madison tried to cut in but he wouldn't let her.

"Don't," He said letting go of her arms and gently covering them again. He stepped away from her once more and returned to his position by the window. "I don't want your forgiveness because I don't deserve it. I didn't just hurt you. I told my mother of your relationship with Sirius and for that, I fear, that I have put you in danger. My family are brutal. They are horrid. You have influenced Sirius even when you didn't mean to and despite it actually being a good thing, they see it as the polar opposite.

I am sure you are aware of the war that will be coming. I want you to listen to me. When it comes to it, and no doubt it will if Sirius tells you to leave. Please do. Don't fight him, do as he says. I know he truly cares about you. I haven't seen that look in his eye before he was with you and he only wants you to be safe. Whatever the cost. So, if he tells you to run. You run. If he tells you to end your relationship. Do it. If he tells you to kill him... k-kill him. Madison, you may be a pureblood but you believe in muggle ways and families like mine despise that. I wish I could change it, I really do, but you have to trust me and Sirius when it comes to knowing about pure families."

Madison stood up and joined him by the window, "fear is an awful thing. One of the worst and as bad as it may be, you have to face up to it. I admit, I hated you. I really did. I don't think I have ever voiced it but I did, I hated that you hurt me, I hated you because of your family. Regulus, look at me." She took his cheek in her hand and brushed the tear that had fallen away, "Look, I may not forgive you right now but if you let me, in time I might. You still have a chance. I can explain to Sirius all that you have said, we can help you get out of that. Even if you take our spare room at my home, I'm sure Sirius would rather you be safe and he can forgive you too. Just let me help."

Regulus shook his head, "You're too kind, Madison, you give too many second chances. My brother is so lucky but you both can't help me."

"How can't we Regulus, we still children, Sirius isn't but you get the point, we can get you out," Madison told him.

"You really can't," The boy broke and was now full on sobbing, "I'm one of them."

"One of them? One of who? Regulus please elaborate."

He lifted his left arm and revealed the black snake and skull on his forearm, "I had no choice."

Madison gasped and pulled the younger boy into her chest. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and he wrapped his arms around her as well. "You're just a child. You can still leave."

"You don't understand, he can summon us with it. I will die if I don't comply. Madison, please, I will die anyway, Dumbledore's side is too powerful. When I do, please, please, please, tell my brother that I love him and that I'm sorry." He cried, "Look after him as well as yourself, but remember what I said. Do as he says, promise me that."

"I don't think I can, Regulus."

"Yes you can, you have made my brother happy and loved if you don't do as he says you're throwing it all away. Please, Madison, for Sirius, please?"

She sighed and nodded her head.

"Thank you, Madison Parker for everything, and I truly am sorry again, I hope one day I can gain your forgiveness, even if it is in seventy years time and I am dead."

The boy pulled away from Madison and ran from the room, the door clicking shut behind him.

Madison drew breath.

Sirius needed to know.