Steve's Diary

August 2, 1935

Dear Diary,

I already know where this is going. I'm gonna try to get the hooks in on him but he's gonna beat me to it. I don't have much of a chance against him at his best (aka right now).

I guess I can still try... we'll see.

—————

His calloused fingers ran along mine yet again as he wrapped my hands. He pulled his shirt off instantly and I looked at him like he was going mad... not that it bothered me though.

"It's gonna get hot, Steve. Might as well strip now."

Strip.

I yanked my shirt off to, throwing it into the pile where his resided. Chills ran across my bare skin, my nipples hardened and I felt self conscious... I hope he doesn't notice.

Out of nowhere my face flushed with pink and I knew he could see it. Suddenly, I was aware of everything. I wondered if I was too skinny, sick too often, too frail or too much trouble for him.

I wish I wouldn't let my mind wander like that.

Either way, in the end, I knew he probably didn't actually feel the same way I did about him.

"Okay, so you wanna stat with practicing or... get right into the main event?" He asked, genuinely curious. I really thought about my answer too. Main event and die instantly, or practice and die a slow, painful death.

"Let's just get right into it," I said, with pseudo-confidence.

"Alrighty then tough guy." He grabbed my shoulder as if to guide me and pulled me to the center of the room with him, so we would be the farthest away from everything else in reachable distance.

"When do we start?" I questioned. He lightly punched my chest, I heard the slight tapping noise it made. It didn't hurt, but I knew what was coming.

"Now," he replied with a chuckle.

He moved swiftly around me, so fluidly. It was like I was only there to swivel in a circle and follow him. He was so quick and decisive with his movements that I barely even had a chance to react.

"Hey, not fair!" I yelped playfully as he gave me a noogie from behind.

"We never set out any ground rules, Steve, so this is actually—"

"That ain't true," I mumbled, struggling to get out of his grasp. He had punched my stomach once as a distraction and spun around behind me for the sole purpose of a noogie. Wow.

At first I was mad, then I needed up laughing, then it felt more serious. At least to me. He was pushed up against my back side all sweaty and, I don't know, I just couldn't help but think... well, nevermind.

I managed to free myself from his hold and punch him in the stomach. He exhaled, "nice one," he mentioned. "But somehow, not good enough."

He punched me twice and one really hurt. I felt my face go red as a tomato... so I hit him harder.

Back and forth we punched harder and harder and my skin was all splotchy and red from the bruises that would probably be there tomorrow.

Out of nowhere, I had a spur of the moment idea. I acted on it immediately (which may not have been the best idea) and it ended up working out just as I had planned it to.

I jumped up into him and he fell over with me on him. He seemed to have landed hard, but I doubt it hurt him at all. He grunted as he hit the floor, but his hands never went down.

"Steve! What the hell?" He yelled.

"Hey, there aren't any rules, right?" I pointed out.

He looked at me like I had taken that way too literally. But hey, don't blame me. Blame yourself. You said it first, my friend.

I then proceeded to pin his arms down. Somehow, with all my might and little weight, I managed to hold him in his place below me.

My hair hung down and brushed onto his glistening forehead. He was sweating. Bad. And, his breathing was harsh, I looked down to watched his chest push up and down periodically.

I heard him swallow audibly and saw as his lips fell slowly open. Little spots of prickly stubble surfaced on his face and never before had I noticed how nice that looked on him. But those lips... they just looked so soft and intriguing. I just wanted to feel them in mine. More than that. I wanted to feel them everywhere...

I flicked my gaze back up to his cold blue eyes that suddenly seemed a lot warmer. Such thick eyelashes he has. His eyes seemed as though they could see right through me. They pierced a hole through me, I could feel it.

I could feel my heart racing not only in my chest, but also... in my crotch. What the hell is happening?

I found my eyes lingering on him and that I had moved much closer. Just a few inches from his face. It felt like all the lights were turned off. As if nothing else was there. Like we were laying there in the eternal darkness of the universe; as if the Big Bang had never happened and it was just us.

Just us, always and forever.

As I looked down through the mysterious fog that were his eyes, darkness fell over me. Feeling like the purity had been washed from my veins while his heart and mine were strung together as one, bound to beat in sync for all eternity.

A thought pushed its way into existence just there, a single idea that would change everything as I knew it.

My pristine ledger felt as if it's pure white surfaces had just been marred with black ink as my mind wandered farther and farther away. I saw his hot body on mine, sticky and wet but loving every second of it. Him moving so swiftly above me as he made such beautiful noises. I could see his lustful eyes longing for more, his hands meandering down my chest... my name falling from his lips in moans and grunts and whispers over and over and over...

Then, I snapped out of it, back to my less exciting reality.

We were still lost in each other's eyes... I wonder how long it had been.

He quickly noticed that I had returned back from my fantasy world and pushed me off of him, rolling on top of me this time. "Never let your guard down," he said, standing. He extended his hand down and I took it, for he helped me up off the floor.

I took a deep breath and quickly held my hands down, neatly held at my belt line. I was, er, hiding my... uh, ya know. Luckily, Bucky didn't notice.

"Maybe, uh, that's enough for today, Steve," he conceded.

"Yea, maybe you're right..." I caved. I didn't want to stop there but if he wanted to, I guess it would be fine.

"Maybe... we could practice again eventually?" He asked.

"Sure... whenever."

"Okay."

—————

That was all. Really. It was odd because right after that, he headed straight home, saying barely anything else to me the whole while.

I offered to walk with him but he said no.

I asked when we could hang out next and he said he would call me.

So now, all I have left to do is one thing.

Wait for that phone call.

~ Steven G. Rogers