Steve's Diary

June 18, 1938

Dearest Diary,

All of a sudden these emotions are overtaking me. It's almost as if this feeling I get when I'm with him is something of a dream, that's how surreal it makes itself out to be.

His little touches that leave me shivering, whispers of sweet nothings, eye contact that says more than words ever could, simple moments that mean more than the world to me. All these things are almost that of an illusion.

All of it so new and pure. To be truly honest, all of it should be cherished as it is and prolonged for as long as possible under any circumstances provided.

I will endure whatever means necessary to maintain this feeling  Now that I have it, I never want to let it go. I promise him and myself that I will do everything in my power to in order to keep us together. To keep this feeling in tact. It doesn't matter to what end I must travel. I'll do what I must.

Whatever it takes.

Surely at this point in our lives and in our relationship that bit of banter above isn't all that relevant. I'm not, in any way, saying that an immediate course of action is required to keep us from drifting apart. All I meant by it is that this feeling alone is enough to hold us together in whatever the upcoming years may bring us.

I'm just saying that in whatever future we end up in, wherever our own paths lead us, I'm fully confident in the fact that these feelings are the kind that don't just go away.

There are some things you just can't erase and we know that.

This feeling is something people search their whole lives to find; I'm not going to simply let it go to waste after all we've been through.

I'm unsure of where we'll end up, of where our own paths will bring us. Is it possible that we stay together throughout the upcoming years? Well, sure. But maybe we'll end up splitting up for some time, and that's alright too. All that matters is that we'll end up right back where we started.

Together.

—————

I knew he could see it looming in my eyes. He could see my impatience.

My lust.

I felt my skin crawl at the little glimpses of sex that crossed my mind's eye. It was like an incredible and unshakable vision.

This feeling left me nearly insatiable.

Every thought that popped into my head was so urgent that it felt real in that moment. Every move he made, every breath he took, every brush of his skin on mine... they all felt intentional, they all felt as though they had a purpose in my own awakening.

Everything was heightened, and that's when I knew how capable he was of controlling me in the most sensual, passionate way possible.

If only he knew.

If only he could see what he was doing to me.

He wasn't even really paying much mind, or so it seemed. It was all so incredibly effortless for him.

I'd try to hold eye contact, but he would look away. Everything I did was to no avail because of how confident he was in his own efforts and the consequent results.

That is, until out of nothing he began to respond.

It was an awakening like no other. Grander then my own and more fluid than anything I had ever seen or experienced.