Steve's Diary

January 19, 2016

Dear Diary,

After spending a lot of time simply thinking about how misunderstood I am by others, especially Natasha, I realized that there's really only one other woman I can talk to about the goings on of my love life.

Peggy Carter.

Luckily, she's still alive- though, she may not have all her wits about her anymore, she's still here and I have to at least give it a chance.

This is my last resort.

It has to work, it just has to because, well... I don't know what I'm gonna do if it doesn't.

—————

I was led to her room by a very kind blonde haired woman named Melissa, who was also, by default and by direct orders from Nick Fury, a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent.

"Thank you," I said to her as she walked away, just before I opened the door.

She was resting, but Melissa said she never minded being woken up, especially when it was regarding visitors, so I pulled a chair up to her bed and waited for her to notice.

Her eyes flickered open and a smile quickly grew upon her aged face. I could still see that bright, strong woman hidden in there... her eyes revealed everything.

"Steve," she began, her voice shaky. "It's been a little while, hasn't it?"

She remembered. "Yes, but, you know as well as anyone that I could never forget about my best girl."

Her smile grew even bigger. "You always were a charmer."

I reached out and grabbed her hand, warming her up between mine. "What have you been up to?" I asked.

"Nothing really," she explained. "There's never anything to do around here," she leaned closer to me and began to whisper. "These young S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents don't know that I'm still strong, even if it's a bit hidden beneath this withered, old body of mine."

I chuckled. "I guess they just don't know you like I do, huh?"

"I suppose so," she smiled. "And yourself?"

"Since I last saw you?"

"Mhmm," she hummed.

"Peggy, everything's fallen apart," I revealed.

A worried look crossed her face. "What's happened? Tell me everything."

So I did. I explained everything since I'd last seen her in 2014. I told her about seeing Bucky and how he attacked me and about HYDRA and then everything more recently like Ultron and the Mandarin people and Thor and, God, it was a lot.

"It must have crushed you to have seen him again and have him not know you," she insinuated.

"It did," I started, my voice crackling. "It was like the the world had finally regained its color when I first set eyes on him- but then to see his gaze waver like he'd never seen me for even a moment in his life was like... was like-"

"Like waking up and looking to the bright blue morning sky expecting to see our beautiful yellow sun, only to be met with a dark hole sitting in its place."

I felt a tear roll down my face as I looked away from her, unable to let her see me like this. Her hand met my cheek as she wiped away the droplet. My cheek tugged at my lips, making me smile through all this anguish.

"Yes," I agreed. "And, thank you."

"Anything for my Captain," she replied, bringing her hand back to her side.