Steve's Diary

July 31, 1937

Dear Diary,

Everything has been so... normal. God, I missed this.

It really is all the little things. Making one another breakfast after sleepovers, hanging out all day, watching movies together, practicing fighting, talking about nothing and somehow never getting bored.

These are, I feel like, the best days of my life and I might as well enjoy them while I have them because there certainly isn't any going back.

—————

Every so often throughout the summer there will be fireworks shows at  Central Park for the people that lived in The Big Apple.

They were big and extravagant and, most of all, expensive. The admission tickets were $10.00 each... we can't afford that every few weeks. So we started sneaking in.

I followed him through the barely lit up darkness.

We made our way away from the front entrance in order to distract front the fact that we were sneaking in without paying.

As he climbed the metal fence, I somehow managed to follow him. After that? We made our way into a far away bush... hopefully the view would still be good.

"This okay?" he asked me. We had picked a new spot to view the fireworks show and I suppose he was trying to figure out whether or not I liked it.

"Yea, this is great," I replied, glancing down at my watch. It was 10:02 pm and it was starting to get a little chilly.

Time passed on and I didn't really look around much or pay any mind to the passing hours. I had a good chat with Bucky and stargazed.

As I stared up through the canopy of leaves, the night enchanted me... making me feel like the imperfect, star clustered sky was my very own skin and the full, white moon was my curious heart thumping all by itself up there amidst the blackness.

I felt just as drawn to the sky as I did to Bucky... it was like there was something in both of them that I had yet to see; that I had yet to learn or figure out or explore.

I looked over at him and examined his facial details as he watched the sky above. I let my fingers brush against his hand and he looked over at me, instantly taking my hand in his and interlocking our fingers. A genuine smile spread across his face. Ugh, his cute little dimples are showing.

"C'mere," I whispered to him. The smile faded from his face as he leaned in. I waited and sat there unmoving for a moment, keeping us just far enough that our lips weren't touching.

He moved closer and I backed away. He let out a frustrated sigh and wrapped his hand around my neck and kissed me intensely, biting my lower lip just enough for me to feel it pinch.

I felt my heart thumping against the inside of my chest as he pulled away.

Then it started. I saw a flash of red light brighten his face, then I heard the crackle of the firecracker explosion immediately after. I pulled my eyes from his and looked up at the sky to watch the bursts of colors everywhere.

I looked over at him and he wasn't paying any attention to the fireworks, only me.

He then leaned in as if he was about to kiss me, but I pulled back and placed my hand on his chest. "Buck... we're in public," I pointed out nervously.

"Your point?"

"Well... what is someone sees us? What if we get caught? We could get in some serious trouble," I reminded him.

"You're right... we could. We won't, but we could. But, Steve, really... ain't that part of the fun in all of this? The fear of getting caught doin' something we're not supposed to be doing is invigorating to me," he explained.

I looked at him like he had opened a whole new world to me. Like the thought of someone catching us would make it better even if there were those resulting consequences.

"Kiss me," I whispered. He hesitated. "Bucky.... kiss me, please."

"Only because you said please," he smiled, taking my jaw into his palm.

The colors soaked into his face, he glowed all the reds and blues and whites of the fireworks as he leaned into me. I felt this heat, like a spark, ignite between us and spread from his lips to mine as they touched. It was a completely new sensation that I let take over me.

He wouldn't let me pull away... I felt all of his emotions boiling over like nothing I've ever seen him experience before. I heard him inhale and I felt a tear transfer from his cheek to my own, then he pulled away.

"Promise me we'll never fight again,
Steve, please. That's all I ask," he said to me.

"I promise, Buck. Don't worry about that, okay? You already know how I feel about you."

"Good.... good. I don't know what I would do if we ever had to go through that again."

"Tell me about it," I chuckled.

—————

We climbed the fence to get out, unaware of the fact that we could have probably just walked out like normal people.

Oh well.

~ Steve R.