Steve's Diary

April 11, 1936

Dearest Diary,

It's just another boring Sunday. I figured... okay, I'll go hang with Bucky.

I mean, it's been boring lately. And we haven't even been able to hang out that much recently so... I dunno. I missed him. So I went and got him.

—————

I decided to walk to his house today as it was unusually warm for an April morning in the city.

It's been long enough that we've known one another, too, that I don't even bother knocking on his door when I get there.

"Hey Rebecca," I said, greeting Bucky's sister.

"Hi Steve, Dad's out and Bucky's in his room," she replied in her small, high-pitched voice.

"Thanks," I replied, heading off to his room.

I knocked on his door and it swung open. "Hey Steve, hows it going?" He asked, laying on his bed reading a comic book.

"Whatcha got there?" I asked.

"National Allied Publications... it's uh, Doctor Occult."

"Oh cool... can I join you uh..."

"Yea yea... get on the bed," he told me.

I shut the door behind me and sat down next to him. The comic book was tossed aside though soon enough, as Bucky had some other ideas in mind.

"Hey, Steve..." he started, beginning to change his position on the bed. "You know, my dad..." he crawled over to me and placed his legs between my own. "He, uh, ain't home right now..." he wrapped his hands around my head and looked into my eyes softly, but with clear intent.

I sucked a deep breath in just before he kissed me quickly and pulled away. "What're you moving away for? Get down here and kiss me," I told him. His face filled with utter shock all at once.

"Alright, Rogers... I see how it is," he whispered with a grin plastered on his face.

His hands met my wrists as he held them down at either side of my head, his face just inches from mine and his body weight pushing down on me. He was so heavy but him on top of me felt so... sensual.

There was something about our bodies touching like this, about him pushing down on me and me pushing up on him... about every inch of my skin just itching to touch his.

I couldn't stop thinking about how warm it was next to him. How safe and comfortable I had grown to feel around him... my worries seemed to just melt away in this moment.

His hands were magical the way they moved across what little skin I had exposed. They met my shirt and slacks and eventually found their way underneath my white button up.

And the way he kissed me... this moment just felt so perfect. Those hot kisses and gentle caresses upon my skin and shivers traveling up and down my body over and over again.

My shirt hit the floor.

I looked up at him as he returned to his position. He looked like he longed for me to do the same so I did.

His shirt landed on mine.

He came crashing down onto my lips with sheer force, a breathy moan following it directly into my mouth.

I wrapped my arms around his chest and waist and pulled him down onto me as his fingers ran through my hair. Fuck this is hot.

I felt his heart beating out of his chest against my body and his hot hands as they cupped my jaw, lifting my chin up to kiss him.

His actions were getting more and more... aggressive and needy, almost. His one hand made it's way gently down from my naval, meeting the edge of my pants. He unbuttoned them and undid my belt. I pushed my hips up instinctively and he pushed down with his. He was hard through his pants and I could feel it... fuck, so was I. God, I'm so hard it hurts.

He kept pushing down on me with his hips and I kept pushing up on him. My God it felt so good.

He pulled his lips away and I went up to reconnect but he teased me. He would move in and let our lips touch then pull away. My blood was boiling in my veins and throbbing up my legs and down my abdomen. I opened my eyes and looked at his, they were as droopy as mine felt.

I let him hear my heavy breathing for a moment and his eyes eventually looked down at my lips. I could hear my heart raging in my ears and feel the warm red blood gathering in my cheeks.

His head went to my neck and he kissed it. He sucked on it and my ear and whispered to me, "I want you." He went back to sucking my neck and planting kisses along my chest.

I let my hand traverse down his body and to his zipper where I gently grabbed his boner and sort of pulled. His jaw dropped and his eyes squinted shut as he moaned, "Steve... holy fuck..."

His eyes darted to the door where we heard a quiet knock before it started to open. Shit shit shit.

He jumped off of me as I re-zipped my pants and put my belt back into place. He threw a blanket over our legs to hide the very obvious boner situation and picked up his comic book just before she even had a chance to look in.

"James... I think dad put my shirt in your room again," Rebecca said, entering.

I could see him trying to catch his breath. "Oh..... that it?" He pointed across the room at a white cloth looking thing on the chair.

"Yea, thanks..." she walked over to take it and looked over at the shirts on the floor that very obviously belonged to the half naked boys on the bed. She looked back at us and walked out without saying anything. The door shut behind her.

I looked at him and his eyes were closed. "Steve... that was-"

"That..." I cut him off "was close, Buck. That was really, really close."

"I know... I know. I'm sorry," he put his comic book down and moved over to kissed me again.

"Mmmm... Buck, I gotta go," I whispered.

"What?" He said, confused.

"My mom's gotta be worried sick by now and, I don't know, I don't want her to get too worried right now. I'm sorry..." I got up and took my shirt and put it on.

"It's alright..." he smile at me. I smiled back.

Then I made my way home.

—————

Well that was... wow.

It's so surreal, it's like it didn't even happen and I was some really hot fantasy dream.

I don't know how much more of this I can take before... I don't even know.

~ Steven Grant Rogers