Steve's Diary

December 27, 1944

Dear Diary,

We've been put on a little break time, even at the hight of the war... I mean, it's Christmas for fucks sake!

Though, the war isn't exactly halting for the festivities, we sure as Hell plan on getting drunk anyway.

—————

Crocker's Folly, again, was the unanimous vote for the bar tonight. I suppose it's a favorite among all the military personnel and not just Bucky and I.

We walk in and literally everyone is there already. Fashionably late (again), I suppose. Peggy sends me a look as if she knew what we were doing that made us so late and, I would have called her out on it but, she was right, so.

"Steve, it's good to see you again."

"Ma'am," Bucky greets her, looking her up and down, as she was in a rather show-y red dress. Ok, but, I don't know if I'm making this all up or not but either Bucky was taking this little game of his a bit too seriously or, perhaps, he was a bit more interested in women than I had originally noticed.

I smile, ignoring everything else, "Good to see you too, Peggy."

"I know it's Christmas and all, but we've just gotten word on the whereabouts of the Red Skull. Nothing too specific just yet, but we know he's hiding out somewhere in the Alps. We've already started strategizing."

"I- well, that's great news," I replied, looking at Bucky who, then, agreed.

"Yes, it truly is. I hope you know well that you are going to make history, Steve. That thi-"

"Not to be rude, Agent Carter," Bucky interrupted (rather rudely, maybe because she wasn't showing him any attention or interest). "But, come on. It's Christmas. Let's all just forget about this war for five minutes and have a drink. I think we all need it."

"Well, I suppose you're right," she agreed, walking away to go talk with some of the other army guys... the ones that, you know, haven't come out as gay and might actually try to go home with her tonight.

Bucky turned to me. "She's right, you know."

I felt my face crinkle in confusion as I chuckled slightly. "How do you mean?"

"About what you're becoming. Who you've already become, even. You're a hero, Steve, and you've got to know that by now," Bucky explained.

"Well, you and everyone else ought to know that you'll be right there next to me an-"

"No," he interrupted. "I won't be in the history books, Steve, that's for you," he conceded, leaning into my ear and lowering his voice. "But, I loved you first. As long as they get that right, I don't care what they say."

I smiled at him, knowing damn well that he was right about all of that, even though there was no chance there'd be an us going down in history.

Bucky bought me some beer and we joined the rest of them. Hell, even Peggy had a drink, though it was colorful and I have no idea what it was actually called.

I lost track of how many drinks I had and, a few people even tried to tell me to slow down but, to be honest, I wanted to feel that buzz. It was invigorating and it wasn't like we drove here or anything. The hotel was just down the street.

The only problem with all of this was, no matter how fast I drank and no matter the alcohol content (as, eventually I switched to Bruichladdich, which is the most alcoholic single malt whiskey they had here, with a 92% alcohol content), I could not seem to feel the effects at all.