Steve's Diary

October 15, 1936

Dearest Diary,

I think I'm going to die.

I'm completely balling my eyes out. It feels like someone plunged their hand into my chest, grabbed onto my beating heart, twisted it and ripped it out as viscously as they possibly could.

I've just made the worst two phone calls of my life... let me explain.

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"911 what's your emergency?" The operator answered relatively calmly.

I could barely speak as I was choking on my own tears. "I... my-" I paused and tried to pull myself together. It wasn't working. My throat was closing and I felt this stinging in my eyes that would not go away for the life of me. "She... oh god- oh my god... no no I... I can't believe this is- that this... I can't," I stopped and closed my eyes as hard as I could, squeezing the phone in my hands and making tears fall and stain my face red. "Please help! Oh my God!! Se- send someone! I- can't believe she... she's-"

I heard the front door open.

"Bucky?!" I yelled hopefully from my spot on the floor in the dark room.

"Steve! Oh my god Steve are y-" he stopped, his eyes landing on the bed above me. I heard him swallow and saw a tear fall to the floor. His hand went up to his mouth as he backed up, shaking his head. "No... no no no, Steve... I- I... who do you have on the phone?" His voice cracked.

"The- it's... I called, they..." he took the phone from me and I put my head in my hands, crying profusely.

"Hello?... yes, who is this?" He asked, seemingly calm. "This... oh... did he... he didn't tell you?... Yes... yes send an ambulance... I don't... no, I'm not... I'm not sure... tuberculosis... no... ok, thank you... have a nice day... bye." He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes and sat down on the floor next to me. "They're on their way... but, Steve, its gonna be fi-"

"NO! Bucky! It's not gonna be fine!" I fell onto his chest, crying and crying and crying.

"Steve..." he started.

"No. Bucky... oh my god I can't even say it..." I stopped. "She's gone. I can't believe she's gone, Buck. My mom is... dead," I whispered, looking up at the bed where I found her. The covers were tossed all over because of my panic when I first came in... that's something I don't want to ever feel again.

"C'mere," Bucky said, pulling me into a hug. I felt his shirt getting cold and wet under my face as I cried into him. We sat there for what felt like the shortest five minutes of my life.

Red and blue lights filled the room from the window. Men came walking into the room and turned the lights on as we stood up.

A few of them started helping my mom and the other questioned us. "Who is the legal adult here?" He asked.

"Uh..." I stuttered.

"We're both adults, sir," Bucky stepped in.

"What is the relationship to the... deceased?"

"She's my mom... er, I'm her son," I replied. He looked over at her and back at me.