Steve's Diary

February 14, 1938

Dear Diary,

Finally Valentine's Day...

It's movie time.

I really hope Bucky likes the plans I've made for us.

—————

It was late evening when Bucky finally came home from work. He came through the door like he couldn't wait to sit and relax for once. And, to be fair, he deserved it. He worked his ass off everyday to support the two of us... I only wish I could help.

"How was work?" I asked.

"Eh..." was all the answer I could get, so I accepted it and moved on.

As he sat down, I followed up behind him and wrapped my arms around his chest in attempts to embrace him. "You want some good news?" I questioned.

I felt him smile against my arm. "Do I... its been such a long week. What's up?" He replied giddily.

"Well since it's Valentines Day... I got us movie tickets and the best part is that it's an action-comedy. The only thing i was thinking we could do better this time is I figured we could get a little drunk beforehand to make it more fun... whad'ya say?" I proposed.

"That sounds awesome, Steve, thank you for... for doing this."

I couldn't help but smile at how genuine he was being. "Well, it starts in an hour and a half... we'd best start drinking now, huh?"

• • •

The movie was good, really good actually... not that I remember most of it.

We were kinda sorta maybe... totally drunk and acting like complete idiots the whole time. Luckily there weren't too many people in there- wait... no that's not true, I lied. There were people there at first, but in the end they had all left. I wonder what that was about.

Now, here we are sitting on the living room floor at 8:30pm, half drunk, with nothing to do.

"Mmmmm... thanks mmsteve, really. That was gr- great yup mhm great..." he muttered, taking another sip of his beer.

"Good grief, Buck... gimme that," I said, taking the bottle from his hand and putting it to the side. "You're completely wasted. Calm it down a bit, heh?" I suggested, much to his dislike.

"You're so nice Steve. So nice... always there for me n' stuff. Always tryna helllllp people and stand up for peopllllle. So nice... soooooo... niiice," he rambled on, staring at me intensely. Then he smiled goofily. "You're so handsome Steve, wow. So handsome," he paused. "Steve is perfect," he said to himself. He traced my lips with his pointer finger. "Pretty lips... so handsome. Mmmmmperf- erf... perfect," he waited again.

"Alright alright, lets get you to bed, buddy," I announced.

"No!" He shouted, like a literal 5 year old. "No. Steve, no. I don't want to sleeeeeeeeeep. I wanna stay here. Here, with you, Steve... Steve?"

"What?"

"Please?"

"No."

"But... but... bUT STEVE!"

"Stop yelling, Jeez, come with me," I convinced him, bringing him to Sarah's room. "What're you doing?" I asked as he crawled onto the bed and sprawled our like a starfish.

He shot me a look. "Uh?!? What does it look like I'm doing, silly?"

"Well, to me, it looks like you're being a complete dumbass."

"STEVEN GRANT ROGERS WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE."

"Bucky you need to stop yelling and go to sleep," I told him.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why, Bucky?"

"Because you haven't given me a goodnight kiss yet."

Ok, that's cute though.

"Fine," I agreed, walking over to the bed. I pecked him on the lips, "goodnight," I whispered.

"Mmmm," he mumbled, pulling me down for a real kiss.

His lips were sloppy and wet and tasted like beer but I'd be lying right now if I didn't want more. God, I wish we were sober.

"Steeeeeve?" He whispered as the lights flickered off.

"Mm?" I replied, turning around and turning the lights back on.

"Lay with me?"

I let out a sigh. "Sure."

As I got under the covers, I felt his warm body snuggle up next to mine. It's so weird seeing him like this... I've never been with him when he's so completely drunk. This is the exact reason why I didn't drink too much.

"Thank you, Steve."

"Anytime, Buck."

"Awwww oh my god, I love you," he said without realizing it.

Pause. He what, now?

I remained unmoving after he said that, unsure of what to do. He's drunk, right? So he obviously doesn't mean that, right?

Right?

—————

Oh lord, I guess I won't ever really know.

However, this unknowing might be my undoing.

~ S. Rogers