Sirius Black x Reader

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You sit on the couch, tapping your leg anxiously as you watch the news: Sirius Black escaped Azkaban. Where is he? How is he? How the hell did he get out?
A second later, your phone rings, and you pick it up. "Hello?"
"Hey." Remus says. "Have you read the paper?"
"No. But it's on the Muggle news."
"Hey."
"Yeah?"
"If he finds you, call me. Be safe."
"Yeah. You too--Remus?"
"Huh?"
"Somebody should tell Harry."
"Is there a point? What if he's... crazy?"
"Well, Harry should still know, don't you think?"
"I guess. But if he's dangerous."
"Then Harry won't meet him. But it's Sirius. I don't think..."
"He was in Azkaban, Y/N. For twelve years."
"I know, Remus." Your voice cracks with tears you refuse to shed.
He sighs. "Look, just be careful, okay? If he comes to you, call me."
"Okay."
"Okay. Bye--"
"Remus."
"Huh?"
"Love you."
"Love you too."
You go back to watching the news. You glance through the Daily Prophet article, but you prefer the unbiased, albeit uninformative, Muggle news.
Eventually, you turn it off and pick up a book. There was no point keeping up with it. Sirius wouldn't be found unless he wanted to be.

You're half asleep when you hear a knock on the door. It wakes you, but you assume it's a figment of your imagination and focus your eyes on your book.
Someone knocks again, quietly but urgently.
You figure Remus didn't trust you to call him if Sirius showed and had come to stay a little while, so you get up and open the door.
Sirius stands in front of you, his face gaunt and pale but his eyes bright and just as lovely as you remembered them.
"Miss me?" He says with his cute, crooked smile.
"Quite a bit." You step back for him to come in and quickly close the door behind you.
"Hi. Hey." He says softly, reaching for you, his voice cracking.
You grab his hands to stop him. "Wait."
"What?" He asks, dropping his arms and bouncing on the balls of his feet.
"How'd you get out?"
"Anigamus. Duh."
"Then why didn't you do that twelve fucking years ago?" You snap. You've wanted to hit Sirius Black countless times over the years, but never as much as you do right now. How could he? How could he?
"Because it's my fault James and Lily are fucking dead." He snaps back. "Now why are we fighting?"
"I don't know." You don't soften your voice.
"Will you at least hug me?"
"I'm supposed to call Remus."
"It can wait for you to hug me."
You wrap your arms around him, closing your eyes against tears. You whisper now. "Merlin, Sirius."
He squeezes you tightly, breathing hard and fast even though he hadn't been just a second ago. "I love you."
You opened your eyes quickly. Sirius Black had always been very against the L word. "I love you too."
"I need to talk to Remus."
"I'll call him."
"You're not, like, married or anything, right? Do I need to leave? Oh, Merlin, do you have kids?"
"No." You say quickly. "No, no kids. I'm not married. Stay here."
He nods and kisses you. "I need a fucking drink."
"You need a fucking shower."
"Yes I do."
"I'll call Remus while you shower."
"No. I need to talk to him now. Peter--he's not dead."
"Damn it, Sirius, if you're gonna go to Azkaban for doing something, at least have done the bloody thing."
He smiles a little. "Oh, I will. Trust me."
You have so much to say, but you're sure Remus can say it better. "Go shower. He'll be here by the time you get out."
He nods. "Okay. Where's the bathroom?"

Remus gets there a couple minutes before Sirius gets out of the shower. He's visibly anxious, but you can't blame him.
Sirius comes out, wearing just a towel. He'd always been skinny, but now he's scrawny. Without all the blood and dirt caking his skin, you can really see how pale he is. "I don't have clean clothes." He says, not really sounding like it's all that big of an issue.
Remus tosses him a bag. "Figured you wouldn't."
He catches the bag and looks at Remus for the first time. He breaks into a grin and hugs him. "Hey, mate."
"Yeah, good to see you too. Now go get dressed and never hug me when you're naked again."
Sirius grins, amused. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"Yes."
You make exaggerated gagging sounds. "Get a room, boys."
"Shut up." Remus says.
Sirius turns to you with a smile. "I'll get a room with you, baby. It might've been twelve years since I've gotten laid, but I'm sure I could show you a good time still." He winks with a suggestive smirk.
You feel your cheeks heat up and try to come up with some witty response, but not even a non-witty response comes to mind. "Uhm." You say instead.
Remus clears his throat to remind the two of you he's still in the room. "Go get dressed, Padfoot."
Sirius turns to leave, grinning proudly. "I still got it."
Remus sits beside you on the couch and rolls his eyes. "At some point, everyone's gonna stop swooning over him, right?"
"Well, right now most everyone's scared of him, so just me for now." You laugh, even though you're quite uncomfortable.
Sirius comes back out, fulling clothed this time. "I'm sorry." He tells Remus.
"It's all good. You doing okay?"
"Peter's not dead."
"What?"
"He's not dead. Help me find him?"
"Okay."
You'd expected Remus to tell him no, that revenge isn't the answer, there are better ways to handle it, that he couldn't kill him. For a second, you almost believed he did, but then you realize you're only pretending it to yourself because that's what you want to hear.
"What?" You ask.
They both look at you and repeat the question back to you.
"You can't kill him."
"He killed James and Lily." Sirius' voice turns cold and bitter. "I think I can."
"I know you can, Sirius, but that doesn't mean you should."
"I think we should." Remus says.
"Okay, honey, you gotta leave. Get out of my house. You're not helping."
Sirius looks at you funny. "Did you just call him honey? I thought I was honey."
"Hate to break it to you, but you aren't that special."
You let them plan to find Peter and stay out of it. You would be fine with him dying, you'd just prefer it not to be at their hands.
"If you kill him, you're no better than him." You say as they wrap it up.
"That's a risk I'm willing to take." Sirius says.
"An eye for an eye." Remus kisses your cheek and stands. "Goodnight. I'll see you guys later."
Remus lets himself out, and you look at Sirius, trying to convey what you're trying to say without actually saying it.
"What?" He asks:
"Will you really darken your soul?"
"This isn't a fairy tale, babe. I think you're being a bit dramatic."
It had never really been worth it to try to reason with him in the past, but you decide to try anyway. "Sirius, come on. I can't imagine how upset and angry you must be--"
"No, you can't." He says cooly.
"But this isn't the way to do it. You can't kill him. We can get proof that Peter's alive and go to the Ministry. Please. Do you really think James would want you to kill him?"
He takes both of your hands in his and looks down at them for a moment before looking back up to you. "I know. And I'm sorry. But I don't care. I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch. I'll rip him apart limb from limb and I'll make that bastard pay."
You aim to keep your face straight and to stay calm, but that's not how it turns out. Your eyes are wide and your heart's racing. Maybe Sirius is crazy.
"I know he doesn't deserve to live, Sirius. But this really--it's wrong, Sirius. Please, for the love of God."
He smiles and stands. "Good thing I don't believe in God, then. Can we go to bed now?"
You stand too, grabbing his hand as he turns away. "Sirius."
He turns around with a smile, like nothing had happened. "Yeah, love?"
"I love you. But if you're gonna kill Peter--This can't... I can't--We're done, Sirius. I-- No."
He doesn't say anything for a second. "What?" He finally says, quietly.
"If you're actually going to kill Peter, you need to leave. Now." Your eyes burn and your throat is tight, but you can't not say it, no matter how much you wish you could.
"You don't understand--"
"No, I don't. But I do understand that if you do this, you'll be no better than he was, and you'll get sent back to Azkaban, and they won't let you get out this time. If you kill Peter--then you'll actually be guilty. You might be able to do that, but I can't. I love you. And I'll still love you if you do it, but nothing will ever happen. I'll be done."
"You've said that a lot."
"I know. And there's a lot I can forgive. But this isn't one of those things."
After a minute, he sighs and sits down on the couch. "I've caused you so much more trouble than everyone told you I would."
"You really have." You sit down beside him.
He picks up your hand again and kisses it. "I'm sorry."
"Revenge isn't all it's cracked up to be. James'll still be gone, you'll still have been in Azkaban, and you'll be emptier than you were before."
"I know." He whispers.
"Will you stay?"
"I'll stay."

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