chapter 38- Suspicion

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Niall's POV

I was so jealous.. Zayn started to give Harry more missions. He wanted Harry to give reports to himself. They seemed closer. I already had a thing like jealousy.. Before all of these things, I wanna do something about this twice.. But there were other things to do so I couldn't.. I postponed.. and postponed.. and now I kept seeing them together. That jealousy that anger.. was getting worse day by day when I saw them together..

It was not that I didn't trust them. I trusted Zayn with all my heart. He was my brother. He could die for me but never ever do something against me.. He loves me maybe more than himself.. I love him the same way.. There was a bond between us, we could do anything for each other. We were each other's only family. We had noone left.. So yeah I trusted Zayn a lot.. Even he had feelings for Harry, I knew that he would buried them for me, not make a move..

I also trust Harry.. But in the past.. my ex-boyfriends.. They let me down.. They both betrayed me.. In my first relationship, Shawn Mendes, was turned out a spy to an other mob and I didn't care about it first. But I should be sure if he loves me or not. So I tested his loyalty to me.. I mean.. not work related.. romance related loyalty.. Because if there wasn't a loyalty in that way, he could just f.ck off..

So I made a plan. There was a little room at the mansion, my father made that room for negotiation type of things. There was a huge mirror like the ones in police stations in it. Actually my dad seperated a huge room into two with a wall and put that mirror between. You could stay in the left side of the room and see the right sight. That was pretty genious of him.

So I told Zayn that I wanna test loyalty of Shawn in romance. And I told Zayn that I saw Shawn checking up him before.. So.. I wanted Zayn to lean on him, try to kiss him. Zayn objected me first.."But boss.. I can't do that.." Zayn said. "If you don't, I can't be sure Zayn. I kept seeing him with men. I need to be sure.. Do this for me. I won't get angry with you or anything.." I said. Zayn sighed.

Then Zayn told Shawn that I was out of the city and leaned in and kissed Shawn. Shawn immediately kissed back, pulled Zayn's hair, slided to his neck.. Shawn's hands were all over Zayn.. Shiitt.. I knew it.. I couldn't tolerate one thing in this life and that was disloyalty.. I burst in and yelled at Shawn asked "Why?" . Shawn admitted that was just a job to him and he doesn't love me a bit.. and Zayn was hot..

Then I had another relationship, 2nd one, Bradley Simpson.. I heard he cheated on me with a blond guy named Tristan. I sent Zayn again. Zayn bought a beer and flirted a little with him. Next day, we did the same plan. Bradley first say No to Zayn, I thought I was wrong.. But I wanted Zayn to push a little, wanted him to say that Niall didn't need to know etc. that type of things.. And when Zayn said those things, Bradley smirked and leaned in Zayn and make out with Zayn.. Shiittt.. I didn't like Shawn that much, but Bradley.. That hurt so much.. I didn't get it.. I gave everything to him.. I loved him.. Why did he do that to me? I still couldn't figure that out.. He said that he loved me but not as much as I love him.. He added that he loves my power more than me..

So yeah.. I don't trust boyfriends.. I actually trust Harry. But when I saw him smiling to Zayn, laughing with Zayn, drinking beer with Zayn.. Those momories came back.. That jealousy.. That anger.. all came back.. That suspicion..was eating inside me..

I took Harry to upstairs... "You are mine" , "You are only mine" .. Those thoughts were on my mind.. "You can't be anyone, You'll be only mine!".. I thought about Harry's cheating me non-stop.. I went mad again.. I just undressed Harry and f.cked him.. I didn't care what he said or what he tried to do.. I just wanted to be inside him.. He should be mine.. right that moment.. Mine...

While f.cking him, I thought.. I didn't want him to cheat me.. I love him more than anyone.. I didn't love neither Shawn nor Bradley that much.. I could even die for Harry.. I love him with my everything.. If he cheated on me, I could even kill myself.. He shouldn't.. He couldn't.. do that to me.. Noooo..

Then I came in Harry and ran into bathroom, there were tears in my eyes.. Even the idea of him cheating on me.. made me cry.. I couldn't stand that.. I stayed at the bathroom for a while. My eyes were so red, I didn't want Harry to see that..

When I went out, Harry wasn't anywhere to be seen.. Then I realised what I did to him.. Then I realised that was exactly the same of his first day at this mansion.. I checked up my clock immediately. It was around 11pm.

I talked to Paul and wanted him to find Harry. First I thought he left the mansion but learnt that he was still inside, he went to the bathroom and cried there.. I made him cry.. I was such a d.ck.. I didn't want to test him.. But I couldn't stand this feeling, I didn't wanna stand still without doing anything.. I hurt Harry.. I will continue hurting him if this goes on like that..

I decided to do the same plan with Zayn.. I should just do the test and see the result.. I could even be ok with Harry's being a cop, but I couldn't be ok with his disloyalty.. not a second.. I need to be sure.. if he really loves me or not.. If he refuse Zayn and chose to be loyal to me, then I could do anything for him..

But if he chose Zayn and betrayed me, I had to say Ok to all the gang members and sent Harry away.. He wouldn't worth it anyway then.. He already betrayed me why would I keep and protect him..

This was so hard.. Tomorrow maybe Harry will go forever from this mansion.. I need to spend some more time with him.. I was really scared.. Harry came back to our room 11.59. He just wanna sleep. Turned his back to me.. I just spooned him.. He was so soft.. I love him so much.. That hurts sometimes..

I apologised to Harry and he forgave me.. He asked why did I act like that and I said that it was about work, I was angry.. He believed to that and wanted me to spoon him again.. He slept in my arms.. As if he knows something bad will happen, he was holding me so tightly..

Then I heard his low snores.. He was so adorable.. I watched him all night.. I couldn't sleep.. I touched his face, his hair.. I kept kissing him all night.. I kept thinking "This could be our last night together.. " and I cried..

The last time I checked the clock, it was 4am and I was still awake.. Still watching Harry.. Then I should probably felt asleep.. So I couldn't get up early the next day. When I woke up, I couldn't see Harry..

I went to Shamrock and did some stuff I needed to do. Then I called Zayn and wanted him to came. When Zayn came, I told him what I wanted us to do..

Zayn's POV

"NOT AGAIN! Please Niall, I don't wanna do it.." I said. " Zayn, I should know, I should be sure." Niall said. "Why it should be me all the time? You like this Harry guy a lot. I know you do. If he.. If he.. You know.. betrayed you.. I don't want to be the one that he is doing it.. I don't want to do this." I said.

I really didn't want to do that before.. But Niall forced me.. Then I felt guilty.. Niall was so sad for a long time.. Now he was finally happy.. Why wasn't he just try to be happy? Damn!!

"Zayn, I live with a doubt.. with a suspicion.. It is not healthy for me.. for harry.. anymore.. I hurt him last night.. Just becaause I saw him looking and laughing at you.. I remembered the past.. It wasn't his fault but I hurt him.. I wanna be sure.. Please.. I couldn't ask something like that from any other person, I only trust you, you know that.. And plus you are handsome if he says No to you, then it means that he is absolutely loyal, man" Niall said, I blushed. He is the devil.. He knew exactly what to say to convince me.. Shitttt.. "Ok..ok.." I said.

When we were about to leave, I turned to him "if he is loyal to you and rejects me, what will you do to me and him ? seperate us or something?" I said. "I didn't think that far.." Niall said.. "I just need to see him rejecting you.. don't forget to push him a little, Niall doesn't have to know etc, that shit.. ok?"Niall added.. That was so sick.. "Yeah ok Niall" I said.

We warned Liam, told about the plan a little. "Tell him that I went to the mansion in a hurry and called Zayn, then Zayn went to the mansion in a rush. But you don't know the reason, you only know it is an urgent thing about work, ok?" Niall said to Liam, Liam just nodded.. and we left..

Hope everything goes fine... and hope Harry rejects me.. Otherwise, Niall will be a wreck....... all over again.. And I am afraid.. we couldn't fix him this time.........

*I'm gonna update tomorrow chapter 39.

Write comments and give me feedbacks ;) xx

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