Brotherhood (New Zealand Countryhumans)

Conflicted

Canada's POV:

I felt conflicted. My mind flicked through the last twenty minutes over and over again. I usually felt numb when I held a gun. I always thought I would be numb if I ever had shoot someone, but I wasn't. This felt wrong, but I could help but listen to the ringing in my head. It was somewhat peaceful. I stopped in my tracks.

I was still holding the gun with my finger on the trigger. This must be how America feels. I couldn't help but smile a little. Russia was an a$$hole, he got what he deserved. I liked to think that what I was feeling was justice or karma. But it goes a little deeper. In all honesty, if I didn't walk away, I would have shot him again. I would have shot him a hundred times if I got the chance.

"Am I evil?" I asked myself quietly.

"Am I the bad guy?". Surely not, right? It was self-defense, kind of. I'm not a bad guy." I could feel myself start to spiral. I sat down, I had too. I needed to breathe and think.

"I just shot my best friends brother in front of him. Will he hate me? I wouldn't hate him he shot Ame, I guess. It's not like we can die that easily." I thought out loud. But it took me back to when Zea got really sick. Mom and Dad said he could die. I wondered if we really were that fragile. I've never been that sick myself.

I looked down at the gun. I considered throwing it away, but something compelled me to keep it. It's like a trophy. A really grim trophy.

I felt a shudder run down my spine. Something was wrong. Something felt off.

I dashed back to house only to be confirmed by the shouting and banging noises coming from the back. I almost forgot dad was drunk. I quietly followed the commotion until I saw Dad and Ame fighting. Dad had him pinned to the ground and was shouting something I couldn't understand. Ame was fighting back as best he could, but it wasn't doing much. I considered a few things as I held the gun tighter. I felt disgusted with myself.

"Nada! Get inside!!" America spotted me and pointed towards the door frantically. I ran for the door, but it had been locked. I could feel my anxiety build up as tried desperately to open the door. I saw a little face peer at me from inside. Tuvalu unlocked the door and I ran in, slamming and locking the door behind me. Her arms were full of cutlery.

"Um, hi," She said awkwardly as a fork fell from her arms.

"What is going on?" I asked, feeling out of breathe.

"Um... I don't know, but defending myself," She explained as knelt down to pick up the fallen fork. I watched as the rest of the cutlery fell. I knelt to help her pick them up as well when an idea came to me.

"I have an idea! Follow me!" I announced with handfuls of cutlery.

New Zealand's POV:

"That a$$hole. I never left them. What choice did I have. It's not like I enjoy it here anyway." I continued to sulk. Everything sucks. Nothing has gone right in while. 

I found a fallen tree and sat down on it. I stared at the ground for a bit. I noticed a small black and white bird landed at my feet. I was a little shocked, but it looked right back at me. 

"If only I could be like you, a little bird. Nothing matters to you, does it? You don't have to worry about being abducted or abused. You don't need to hide, because no one is looking for you. You get to be by yourself." I envied. The little bird let out a little chirp.

"Who said I had to go back. I can live on my own!" I announced to myself. I felt excited and the little bird flew away. I considered my options. I don't want to go back. It's horrible.

"But what about Dolphin?" A little voiced added. I admit, it scared me a little. I started to wonder how much I said out loud.

"Antarctica, who long have you been there?" I asked uncomfortably. 

"I was worried about you, so I followed you. You don't want to come home?" He asked sadly. I felt so bad. He looked like he was about cry.

"No, of course I want to come home. Things are just complicated." I explained. He ran over to me and wrapped his one arm around me. I hugged him back.

"Please don't leave us. You're my big brother, I need you," he whimpered.

"You don't need me, you're strong and powerful. Look at you, you are missing an arm and you aren't even worried about it." I smiled, let go of him.

"Oh. But I know how to fix it. It happens more often than you think." He laughed. I was a little disgusted, but I kept those feelings to myself.

A loud bang caught my attention. It was coming from the house.

"I don't think they're safe." Antarctica mumbled. I nodded.

"Go find Tonga again, he will keep you safe." I said, squeezing his hand. He nodded determinedly and ran off. Once I was sure he was out of sight, I ran.

I ran away from them all. It's not my job to protect them. I had my chance to be safe. The only reason they were here is because of me. I have been getting them into all this trouble. I couldn't handle it anymore.

I kept running until I tripped, and at that point I was just angry. I kicked and punched and broke everything I could find. At the back of my mind, I regretted my decision, but I knew it would be better if no one cared about me anymore.

I felt so tired and empty. The world spun around me as I leaned up against a large tree. I looked down at the ground. The same little bird sat at my feet and let out a small chirp.