RM , A Backstage Romance Book 2 In The Series

Tears , Suga, solution ?

She pretty much cried her self to sleep which was something she hadn't done since a young child , and now the next morning she was angry with herself.

In her bath she hadn't been able to relax so she'd given up after washing,  she'd spent all of her time when getting dressed calling herself names , by the time she'd left for the workshop she felt awful , had a head ache and wondered how much work she'd even get done today. !

By lunch time she'd given up , even with pain reducers the stress headache hadn't gone and everything she'd tried to do had gone wrong  and still as she walked home she couldn't understand why she'd felt so sad last night. It's not like she didn't know what Rm was offering ! And she herself had said no commitments! Her words !! She'd said them first!

But she admitted to herself just as she wearily crawled back into bed to hopefully shift the head ache , just because she knew pain was coming,  didn't mean it would hurt less ..

She closed her eyes,  did she dare to even admit it ? What she'd been secretly thinking,  could she despite all of her warnings to herself ...did she Lo.... " No No No even  aniyo " she said this out loud as though to make it sink in more .

She felt like she was going to be sick. It wasn't the L word she said to herself , it was fan talk , it was Rm being her  bias , it was because she'd had her first proper orgasm , it was a million reasons any and all but not Lo... she couldn't ..didn't even dare say the word.

She didn't dare , she whispered to herself , because she didn't think she'd survive if it was . She closed her eyes again as a single tear escaped and she fell into a fitful sleep.
   

                       ******

Funnily enough since finding the scratch, although his scheduling problems hadn't vanished Rm felt better . He felt hopeful,  and was more determined to work something out and see Rose soon.
He was sure he would figure it out and he was really looking forward to spending more time with Rose.

Then he had a thought !   , today he had to go proof read a magazine article that had been done on the group and aprove the photos. After .. studio time until early evening.. however it was mostly to record the vocal line .. he wondered if they'd mind if he skipped out early ....

Feeling absolutely over the moon with this newly formed plan Rm hurried to the meeting room to discuss the magazine article.

He sent out a quick txt just before entering asking Jin if he had 5 minutes when he was free . And then another to Rose saying he wasn't 100 percent sure but would she be free this evening for dinner and a date .

He'd hoped to hear back immediately but still hadn't heard anything by the end of the meeting. ' was she avoiding him because of last night ,'he asked himself , worriedly.

He met up with Jin and explained his plan,  who of course said no problem but Rm had to be the one to tell Suga.

This made him apprehensive,  Suga was not the easiest person to approach and he had definitely given Rm the impression that Rose wasn't someone he liked , but at the end of the day he was sure Suga would help if he asked him .

He went along and knocked on Suga's studio door and waited respectfully for him to say enter.

Rm could see a wary look in Sugas eyes as he approached.  He needed to figure out what was going on before he asked for a favour ...

" can we talk ? " he asked taking a seat .  Suga spun his chair around to face him and nodded .

" why don't you like Rose ?" He asked , no point beating around the bush  .

" you're going to get hurt " he said simply " and that will effect the group "

Rm started to deny straight away but then stopped and actually thought before speaking. " you're right " he said " there is a very strong possibility I'll get hurt , but  I think I know what I'm doing , I'm also a fully grown man . " he took a breath and looked at Suga gently . " None of us had a normal teenage upbringing so we missed out ! .. these feelings I'm having right now make me happy !" He tapped his chest to emphasise his words then continued " I know it can't continue , I'm aware, very, very aware it will stop , we've both spoken about it so can you not let me grab this bit of happiness while I can ? I swore Bts would be my life,  I wont abandoned any of you , but let me have 3 months of memories , please "

He finished and waited for Suga to reply .

Suga looked at his brother , saw the pleading in his eyes and sighed. He wanted to say ' don't say I didn't warn you ' and ' it better not interfer with work ' but what he actually said was " OK " 

Rm released a breath he'd been holding then waited , would he say more ?.. when he realised he wouldn't he said " thank you .. ,  now not to push my luck ..." he trailed off , hoping Suga would ask " what do you need "

' please please offer to help ' Rm thought , mentally crossing his fingers , he needed his brother , all of his brothers , he hated dissapointing them for any reason ..

" what do you need ?" Suga said in a resigned voice ..

Elated Rm could have hugged him , but Suga didn't do hugs so he settled for a big grin and an even bigger thank you .

He asked Suga if he could leave early and he'd agreed , Rm felt like he was half way to heaven as he left Suga's studio.
He didn't hear Suga's " ill be there to pick up the pieces brother "
As he was too busy pulling out his phone and humming a happy tune until...still no reply? Could he ring ? Could she really be avoiding him ? ..no he thought , Rose wasnt like that..
He still had to actually plan the date so he decided to give her another hour , maybe she was working he thought hopefully  and rang a chef friend of his instead . Well Jins friend , but he did know him.