RM , A Backstage Romance Book 2 In The Series

partings

Rose held on to Rms hand all the way back to their room, Neither spoke, each lost in their own thoughts, both very aware that the time to part was now being counted in hours not days or weeks.

" lay down with me?" Rm said once the door was shut behind them. She nodded and they laid on the bed , Rose in Rms arms her head on his chest.

" did you know ?.." Rose said "  being in your arms is the only place ,other than mothers that I have ever felt so safe and secure.

He pulled her in closer " You're so tiny yet you fit perfectly ... my arms will feel empty when your not there "

" I promised myself I wouldn't cry " Rose said , valiantly trying to hold back the tears.

" its okay to cry " he said " I think I might cry too , I didn't think it would be so hard to leave you.! I love touring , Its literally what every idol dreams of, being on stage is our ultimate happy place, or it was , but now I think being  with you is my new happy place , and I wish I could stay here for ever . " 

He   maneuvered them both so Rose laid on her back and he lent up on his arm. He placed his hand on her tummy . Voice cracking he spoke directly to his baby " I am sorry I am making mummy do this by herself, I am sorry I wont get to see you as you get bigger in mummy's tummy, I'm so sorry I wont be able to read to you or play music for you when you're big enough "

He felt overwhelmed, he felt the guilt of leaving both of them intensely, he bent and kissed her tummy  and then laid his head just below her breasts  and cuddled her around the waist, as though cuddling his baby. 

He did in fact manage to not cry , but his eyes were full of tears, Roses on the other hand were streaming, she had listened to Rm speaking to their baby and it had broke her resolve.

They stayed like that for nearly half an hour, Rose managed to stop crying and was playing with Rms hair while he spoke to their baby in a hushed voice, telling it all about himself and why he had to go , but that he loved it already , he spoke of the group members and who they were to him and the babies mummy, He told baby to behave and grow strong and big  and  to not cause mummy any trouble .

This made Rose laugh " how much trouble could our baby cause me, ? " Rm gave her tummy one last kiss and came back up to face her . " he or she might kick you lots , or make you feel nauseous again, "  

She rubbed her tummy " Our baby will be perfectly well behaved I'm sure. " She wasn't sure,  but now she was feeling stronger she needed to start to convince Rm that she and the baby were going to be okay with out him. 

She sat up , crossing her legs  and so Rm sat up also . " You know the next few months will fly past, you're going to be so busy, plane to hotel, to stage ,to hotel ,to plane again that you wont even barely miss us , and well I have plenty of orders to keep me busy and Jenny to keep me company, I will keep you updated daily , which if you're not too exhausted you can read before bed , You'll see , it really won't be as bad as you think "

'liar! ' a voive inside her head shouted but she ignored it. 

Rm shook his head, " you're wrong , I will miss you every second of every day , There will be plenty of down time for me to miss you most."

' well damn what can I  say to that ? ' she thought, she took and breath and planted a cheeky smile on her face ...

"  I expect a video call each evening , You'll be sick of seeing me after a while , you'll see " She was desperately trying to lighten the mood, ease the anvil sitting on her chest, she needed him to understand that she couldn't talk about the reality of him not being there, it was too much .

" Never !" He said , He pulled her into his arms and tenderly kissed her " I will never get sick of seeing you , talking to you or being with you " another  kiss then he continued, " I didn't marry you because of the baby I  married you because I love you and intend spending the rest of my life with you "

'Too much' she thought 'the emotions too raw ! every word pierced her heart , the knowledge that he was leaving soon, leaving her alone ..she couldn't think about it or she'd break.

Rm lent in to kiss her again and this time she was ready, ready to block out all the sadness and pain, she kissed him back, hard and hungry.. this would be their last chance, their last time..' don't think.. feel....don't think.. feel.

They made love hungrily and more passionately than ever before, it was hot and heavy and fast. when it was over ,lips were bruised , clothes half on half off. Panting Rm looked at Rose, he couldn't believe that had just happened, so different from making love yet just as powerful.

He saw her lips were swollen and asked " are you alright?" as he helped her to sit back up and straighten her clothes

. She nodded .. she couldn't quite look at him, , she knew they were down to minutes now, she had to be strong, she mustn't  let him worry .." I'll just freshen up  and ill be right back " she said slipping off the bed and walking barefoot to the bathroom. 

Rm watched her walk, his beautiful little fireball was being so brave, but he knew her well and it hurt him to see how much he was hurting Rose, but still there wasn't anything he could do. 

He too got up off the bed and by the time Rose emerged from the bathroom he was fully dressed and his suitcase by the door. 

Rose had given herself a good talking to in the bathroom and was about 60 percent sure she wouldn't cry.. she plastered a sad little smile on her face and said " ready ?"

He nodded , Rose went to open the door but last second Rm grabbed her and held her tightly. 

" I love you Rose , my heart, my wife, the mother of my baby.. eat well and look after yourself please "

she nodded, tears threatened but she squished them.. " I love you too , my world, my husband "

" don't see me down stairs " He said , knowing she wouldn't want an audience to see her cry.

barely holding on she managed "mmm okay "

This time Rm opened the door, pulling his suitcase behind him he said " I love you " and before she could reply he had walked through the door and was off down the corridor. 

Rose watched as the door closed  and collapsed to the floor, now she could cry she wondered if she would ever stop.